you are my "friend". in the past, we have hung out a whole mess of times, and consider each other "friends". on new year's, i took you to a party in the burbs. it was at the house of someone who was one of my best friends in highschool. at their parent's house. all kinda people there, ranging from like 18 all the way to 80. you got really hammered, were telling everyone about how you're a pilot, and you can do anything, and you're going to climb mt everest. then you accidentally kicked over a table full of nice wine glasses full of red wine. then you stole a bottle of red wine, which you snuck into my nearly brand-new SUV for the ride home. you were so plowed, you laid the bottle down on the floor. it still had red wine in it.

but this is all just backstory to make the reader dislike you! on to the "crap/not crap" part...

last week you ask me to dogsit for you, because your dog is a yappy little fuck that can't be left home alone for more than like two minutes without barking nonstop. your neighbors hate your dog even more than i do. but i agree to dogsit for you because i'm your "friend". i come over a little after 6, you leave at 6:30, telling me you'll be back at 9. 10:30 rolls around and i call you. "um, where are you?" you're out at a bar haning out with a bunch of our mutual friends. you have left me at your place watching your yappy fuck of a dog so you can go out and drink with a bunch of our mutual friends. and now you're almost 2 hours late.

Dude, you watched her dog after going on and on for months about how you cant stand her because of some wine stain she left in your sissy truck? What's that about?

You gonna drop in at her going away party before we play poker on Friday too? If I see you there I'm totally gonna punch you in what's left of your nuts. Me, I like her plenty, but I also know where to draw the line.

Man, you should totally kick that guy's ass. You can take 'em.

twomanyhelicopters wrote:Man, you should totally kick that guy's ass. You can take 'em.

Someone kicking tmh's ass isnt even a story anymore. Why do you think he's leaving DC?

you're tearing me apart! you say one thing, and they say another, and then everybody switches back!

first of all, hell no i'm not going to her going away party. she can suck it and then suck it some more. and yeah, poker, we're talking like 8 or 9 pm or something. you gonna be able to make it to her little bitch-party and still be at my place in time for the buy-in?

so okay yeah, i cut her off months ago. it's my ex who dogsat... the party was at my ex's highschool friend's house. the SUV is mine. the dog is this person's *boyfriend's* dog, and the person dogsitting is my ex. there, are you satisfied, mister everything needs to be all factualified? it's the concept though, right? nothing wrong with boiling four people and a dog into two people and a dog, right?

so hey, i was thinkin of starting up a second account, under the name Bradley R Weissenberger, without the period after the R. that'd be pretty cool, right? or Badley R. Weissenberger. or Radley B. Weissenbrau. or Bradley R. Wigglepuppy... oh the possibilities...

I'm going to move to DC, then and take his place and kick your ass, man.

Touch dicks already and get it over with.

I totally agree.

twomanyhelicopters wrote:I totally agree.

Oh. And here I thought he was talking to you.

Pound the drums with martial beat
Pound the streets with marching feet
Wounded pride, distorted eyes
Paint the night with battlecries

All puffed up with vanity
We see what we want to see
To the powerful and the wise
The mirror always lies

Boys and girls together
Mistake conceit for pride
Ambition for illusion
Dreams for self-delusion
Girls and boys together
See what it is we lack
Boys and girls together
Let's paint the mirror black
Paint it black