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I'm sure there's many members of EA who have traveled to places where no EAer should dare to tread. I have many, many funny stories of this nature.

I'll just get the ball rolling with one of my less exciting stories...but it's fresh in my mind.

JamLifeIntoDeath (we've been exposed!...might as well come clean) and I have made a habit over the years of sneaking into public pools very late at night and swimming around for as long as we have the balls. Scampering up some of those fences can be a real bitch...but nothing has stopped us thus far.

We just did it again last night...this time at Meadows pool in Arlington Heights. Believe it or not, JamLife usually goes swimming with his boxers on, but last night he felt compelled to take a naked swim. Last night, I saw him do a really impressive naked double front flip off the diving board into the pool in order to get the ball(s) rolling. We were with an attractive girl...but somehow I missed out on seeing her naked as well...just JamLife...and I've been totally desensitized to his insanity/weiner. Anyway, to summarize, we've snuck into any number of suburban pools...we've been at this a long time.

Last summer however, in an admittedly immature effort to out-do ourselves, we mapped out a plan in which we would hit up three pools in one night...culminating this time with sneaking into a private pool...Rolling Green Country Club's pool. We'd been looking for a new "thrill" for a while, and the country club proved to be where it was at.

We made our rounds...I think we hit up Big Surf (wave pool)...the aforementioned Meadows...and then made our way to the night's greatest challenge...Rolling Green.

The country club was heavily fenced on all sides...(later we discovered one opening, but it didn't show up where and when we needed it to). We hopped over rusty, shorter fence...but due to the rusty, pointy top of the fence...it was probably the most difficult fence I've ever hopped. There was just something about the height of it that made it hard to get over it...I remember really fearing for my nether-regions' safety...I can't really remember why this particular fence was such a bitch, but it was...we took too long getting over.

We eventually made it over the fence...and we all took off running towards the pool across Rolling Green's expansive golf course...it was a long run...and we ran near full speed for the entire time. I was running next to JamLife. Suddenly, as I was running, JamLifeIntoDeath took a completely confident run into a sand-trap. He fell straight out onto his face. It was impossible to see that beyond the grass where we were running (a slight uphill) there was the sand-trap of death. He hit the ground with a sickening, Separate Peace-esque, "THUD." I laughed and laughed at this...how could he have any idea that the bunker was up ahead? In any case, JamLife was fine and we continued running towards our goal.

We snuck into the pool area around the back...we could see people in the windows at the pool-side club area. We assume they were janitors, but there were enough people lurking around to make us a bit more cautious.

Our friend Peter was jacked. He had been imagining this moment for the last two weeks or so. He had been fantasizing about the great suburban pool run with his own special new twist...the pool run would culminate with an act Peter has lovingly coined, "the aquadump." JamLife and I had very little interest in leaving a stoolie in the pool, but we weren't about to squash his dream.

JamLife and I did some dives, some jumps, some swimming...but we were still rather wary of custodianland. Peter's moment had arrived. Peter has the girliest, most infectious, most hilarious laugh I've ever heard...and you never know what will set it off. Like Dr. Hibbert from The Simpsons, Peter not only laughs at the most inappropriate moments...but at the most inexplicable moments. This time, for once, we knew the laugh was coming. Peter's giggling commenced...and JamLife and I knew that it was time to get out of the pool. Peter held tightly onto the poles connected to the metal stairs that allow you to get out of a pool...he had been holding his dump across three pools and more than twice as many fences...like a proud penguin father nuturing his egg over the course of an impossible winter. Peter began laughing really hard in a very high voice...the proud papa's "offspring" slowly floated to the top of the pool. It was time to run again.

We took off from the pool area back across the golf course...where we were pleased to find a cooler full of Gatorade half the way through the mad dash towards the car.

So that's one of my many idiotic trespassing stories. Would anyone else care to share?

Minotaur029 wrote:So that's one of my many idiotic trespassing stories. Would anyone else care to share?

I concur.

alandeus wrote:

Minotaur029 wrote:So that's one of my many idiotic trespassing stories. Would anyone else care to share?

I concur.

So you would like to share?

Perhaps you are just content to beat off to internet porn and geek out over Mark E. Smith?

Minotaur029 wrote:So you would like to share?

Perhaps you are just content to beat off to internet porn and geek out over Mark E. Smith?

I'm never content with beating off to internet porn; there are countless new wrinkles to add to it, like talking on the phone with your mother or having a hot bowl of soup in my lap.

alandeus wrote:

Minotaur029 wrote:So you would like to share?

Perhaps you are just content to beat off to internet porn and geek out over Mark E. Smith?

I'm never content with beating off to internet porn; there are countless new wrinkles to add to it, like talking on the phone with your mother or having a hot bowl of soup in my lap.

I don't get it...do you mean like, gay porno?

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/0 ... index.html

Be glad you don't live in Japan and try that shit (oh, the irony).

Your story has started my day off with a smile. Aquadump indeed.

This isn't technically trespassing, but I tried to "jump the tracks" to another part of town once. I didn't know that the tracks were surrounded by two highways and small streams. So, after running like a madman across one of the highways i tried to jump across one of the streams and ended up waist deep in mud-water. I climbed out and walked on the traintracks a little before a train started to come, so i basically dove right into the stream on the other side. Thinking I'd just have to dash another highway I ran straight into a thornbush overlooking said highway, and was propped up like a marionette for close to a half an hour watching the cars go by (none of them stopped to help, but a few did to laugh and point). Finally someone called the police, who helped me get out and escorted me back home. I survived, but my knit sweater/ jeans didn't. It was also winter and there was about 4 ft. of snow.

Did I mention I was drunk? Well I was. Yeah. I'm an airhead.

A few of us broke into Regents Park at 5 on Saturday morning after a night of dancing. The park was closed so we climbed over a spiked gate and sat on dewy grass and record boxes. It was quite wonderful, if a little chilly. I saw a man - presumably a park warden - zip along at pace on a bike at the other end of our clearing, but nobody else saw him. We left before I could get too paranoid about being our being caught in a swoop to be accused of trying to explode a park, or impregnate park animals or somesuch.

Two summers ago choppy, our friends Tea and Nate, and myself drove out to the observatory in West Allis in order to watch the Perseid meteor shower, as they advertised a public viewing of them on August 13, the day of peak activity. So we showed up that early morning to find the observatory closed. Confused, we then realized that we had arrived on the morning of August 14th, and what the observatory meant was the evening of August 12th/morning of August 13th. So, having driven that far, and seeing no one nearby, we said "fuck it," hopped the ropes cordoning off the driveway, and hung out outside the observatory and watched some day-after-peak-activity meteors.

We are dangerous.

Ace wrote:This isn't technically trespassing, but I tried to "jump the tracks" to another part of town once. I didn't know that the tracks were surrounded by two highways and small streams. So, after running like a madman across one of the highways i tried to jump across one of the streams and ended up waist deep in mud-water. I climbed out and walked on the traintracks a little before a train started to come, so i basically dove right into the stream on the other side. Thinking I'd just have to dash another highway I ran straight into a thornbush overlooking said highway, and was propped up like a marionette for close to a half an hour watching the cars go by (none of them stopped to help, but a few did to laugh and point). Finally someone called the police, who helped me get out and escorted me back home. I survived, but my knit sweater/ jeans didn't. It was also winter and there was about 4 ft. of snow.

Did I mention I was drunk? Well I was. Yeah. I'm an airhead.

Ace...since I know you...I can picture this so clearly...and I smile. Was this in North Jersey?