coincidentally today:

a) my guineau pig died
b) my friend was served an eviction notice because a friend of his decided to shoot the bird at a group of assholey kids.
c) my girl friend started taking prozac for depression, and is having a hell of a time with her parents.
d) I nearly threw up a piece of sushi. Salmon roe? What the fuck was I thinking?

This happened just a few hours ago.

My girlfriend's brother went to a nearby park to have a walk with his little miniature Cheesy* dog, named Squirt.

(* apparently, the breeder told him a 'Cheesy' is a mix between chihuahua and toy Australian shepherd - I think she just made that shit up off the top of her head as she was selling him the dog...)

A few minutes after walking away from the car, he heard a loud crashing sound.

He turned around to see an enormous dead tree limb had suddenly broken off of some tree and crushed the back end of his car.

We're all thrilled that he and Squirt were away from the car when it happened, but still... bit of rotten luck with the vehicle there.

I had to quit one of my bands. And, I think Steve might have called me a douchebag. But, well, neither of those things are really thatbad.

I found out an ugly girl wants to "jump my bones."

it's my brother's birthday

YIKES! wrote:I found out an ugly girl wants to "jump my bones."

I don't know why but that sounds really bad. I think finding out someone ugly wants you is worse than no one expressing interest...because it's somehow easy to think, "that person thinks they have a shot with me?! wow. i must be way worse looking than i thought!"

A neighbor complained by calling my (unlisted) number saying that my dog will be taken away by the police unless she shuts up at night whist on the back porch.

I have no idea who this was. I had no idea that the dog would go out on the deck at night and bark for no reason. I don't know how KIRK got my phone number.

And when I went to sit on the deck at a locat bar to watch the Twins game, it started raining.

Big deal, its all good.

I think Steve might have called me a douchebag

No, he didn't...

I think finding out someone ugly wants you is worse than no one expressing interest...because it's somehow easy to think, "that person thinks they have a shot with me?! wow. i must be way worse looking than i thought!"

...but he wouldn't be wrong if he had.

I had a great day:

1. Pancakes and Canadian Bacon for breakfast
2. Bottomless Pit & Dianogah agreed to let
me book them a show in Madison.
3. Had a lengthy afternoon nap.
4. Went to the Mallards game tonight (Sure, it
would have been better if they hadn't lost 3-0, but,
hey...).

So much for superstition.

(In order)
Ate massive Kuma's burger.
Took short nap.
Went to AVAOSD/Push-Pull/Valina/Haymarket Riot show.
Saw only one of those bands before developing horrible nausea+sweats.
Al noticed me and said something like, "you look like shit."
Had to leave (quite bummed).
Made it home just in time to have explosive diarrhea into toilet rather than taxicab.
Now trying to sleep but still have horrible nausea.

steve wrote:(In order)
Ate massive Kuma's burger.
Took short nap.
Went to AVAOSD/Push-Pull/Valina/Haymarket Riot show.
Saw only one of those bands before developing horrible nausea+sweats.
Al noticed me and said something like, "you look like shit."
Had to leave (quite bummed).
Made it home just in time to have explosive diarrhea into toilet rather than taxicab.
Now trying to sleep but still have horrible nausea.

I made the mistake of eating some totally foul Indian food in Clarksville, Tennessee, yesterday. Of course, everything was peachy while I was browsing at Borders, but as I was walking across the parking lot to my truck, I was seized by a powerful need to evacuate my bowels. I had to verbally coach myself in order to make it to the truck, whispering, "Come on, man, you can do it." Still, I was almost certain that stepping up into the cab would let loose the hounds.

There was no question of my making it home--45 minutes away--and Borders had been closing as I left. I didn't really want to run into Steak and Shake because I didn't want to be that guy--the one who hurries in and heads straight for the bathroom and then leaves without ordering anything. Besides, Steak and Shake is too well lit; I didn't want a restaurant full of people staring at me as I waddled to the can.

My only option seemed to be Books a Million, which is right across Wilma Rudolph Boulevard from the mall where Borders is. As I sat waiting for the light to change, some serious subterranean gurgling was taking place, a microcosm of the kind of activity that, I would imagine, precedes a volcanic eruption.

I decided I could wait no longer and pulled a total Dukes of Hazzard move, running the light and cutting off someone making a left turn (thank God the six lanes of cross-traffic weren't moving) as I stormed into the Books a Million parking lot and prayed no cops had seen me. Fortunately, there was a parking space close to the front entrance.

As I carefully made my way to the restroom, I am certain that every person who saw me--and there were plenty--had one thought in mind: "There goes a man who, by the look of things, is about to shit his pants."

By the time I got there, I wasn't sure if I had or hadn't; I was pretty much numb from the waist down. As it turns out, this would not be my day to suffer the ultimate ignominy. But it was still a pretty shitty turn of events.