so i'm up on a ladder outside, trying to install a motion sensor light on the side of the house, and all of a sudden i hear this buzzing and feel this scratchy shit and i instantly yell "FUCK SHIT BEE HOLY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!" while jumping off the ladder to the ground and somehow throwing a hammer and kinda charlie horsing my other arm in the interim.

so getting stung by a bee isn't nearly as painful as i remember it from being a kid, it's more the suprise of it all. those fuckers just sat there, like 4 or 5 of them on the corner of a the window staring me down and buzzing as i kept thinking about getting back up on the ladder to finish the job.

at least that bastard died by stinging me.

bees, you may have won this round - but i will fuck you and your entire colony up before summer is over. mark my word.

better bees than those other horrible bugs that don't die after they sting you and just continue to sting you.

fuck those!

p.s.-smoke a cigarette next time. smoke makes bees sleepy.

p.p.s.-smoke a joint instead.

Modern humans would be fucked without bees.

Eat it.

motherfucker! a fly just landed in my glass.

these creatures of the air are really starting to piss me off.

I've always wanted to keep bees. I'm fascinated by flying insects--bees and wasps, moths and butterflies and such.

This is not to say that I relish being stung. I stepped on a wasp in the mud room last spring, and it hurt like a motherfucker. It was dark, and I thought I'd stepped on a tack or something. I couldn't understand why my foot kept throbbing and hurting worse even though nothing was stuck in it. Then I saw the wasp.

When I was walking to the bakery in Louisville a while back, I got buzzed by a hornet. It must have had a next in the shrubbery that lined the sidewalk because it bombarded me coming and going. That thing was huge!

I am now allergic to stinging insects such as bees and their ilk, but I love the honeybee for all it brings me, like buckwheat honey and pollenation. I say that I am now allergic to them due to a catalytic event in my life, which will make me pitch in on the side of those stating that hornets can indeed go fuck themselves with their little ass-sabers.

When I was about 11 years old, I was living in the mountians of eastern Kentucky. One day, while living out a perfect picture of the blissful life of a child in this place, I was eating muscadine grapes from the arbor at the bottom of the hill on my grandfather's property. The hill was fairly short - maybe 20 feet from the lawn to the arbor, but it was steep. I discovered how steep it was a few moments later, as - while blissfully picking grapes from over my head - my right foot dropped about 6 inches, and I was enveloped in a black cloud of hornets. I felt like I had just touched bare 220v house wiring (as later experience would provide examples for), and fell to the ground trying to get away. Just...AWAY. I was grabbing handfuls of grass to try to pull myself up the hill toward the house. My 5 year old cousin thought I was play-acting at something, and sat at the top of the hill laughing at me the entire time. This was the only sound that penetrated the loud buzzing sound before I blacked out. I remeber coming to in the kitchen, being carried by some adult, and various members of my family were trying to remove some of the hornets (that were still fucking attacking me) from my body. I recall a cool bath to manage the ensuing fever, and several days of swollen hell, but not much else in between. I had north of 150 stings - they stopped counting after that.

So yeah - fuck hornets. They serve the forces of evil.

Watch out, or you'll die from bee stings like Macaulay Culkin died in MY GIRL.

That shit was sad. All still in his coffin and whatnot.

holy shit, spudboy.

On monday I found 3 or 4 yellowjackets starting their nest on the side of the awning over our front door. Luckily, the nest wasn't large enough yet to be covered in paper, but they had newborn yellowjackets on the way. I sprayed the shit out of them on my way out the door to work, dropping the can of spider killer and running like a little bitch to the car.

I came home after work and they were all dead. Joy!

When I was a kid there was this dirt embankment by my house, and a friend and I realized there were all these yellowjackets flying into this hole. They had a nest in the ground. We went and found a plastic 1 gal. milk jug which we inserted into the hole, mouth forward. Yellow jackets got pissed, flew out and into the jug. and after a bunch got in there, we bravely capped it (while running away) and gave it many good shakes.

Take that, fuckers!

I have broken bones running from bees and yellowjackets.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Characteri ... s_and_bees

still though...better bees than spiders.

spiders are much uglier and have much worse bites.