Not that you/we need to be reminded, but...

anybody get that craving once in a while? It's rough but I'm still clean. Sometimes it helps to talk to others who know what it's like.

UNfriendly encouragements to lethally fall off the wagon can go fuck themselves.

Keep away from it Boombats. I've known too many people I've lost forever due to that shit.

I've never done it but I knew many people who did, some who aren't here anymore, and some who are lost, at least temporarily, because of their desire for it.

ITS NO GOOD.

After talking about the motivations of the NeoCon mom and now this.... I feel like the EA shrink today...

I have been clean for 12.5 years. Thirteen in January, insh'allah.

Mr. Bats (can I call you "Boom"?),

it gets easier and easier as long as you take care of yourself and you don't feed the wrong dog.

(There are two dogs in your soul- a good one and a bad one, and they always fight, etc.... you've heard this parable?)

I have to disagree with Mark Hansen. Heroin isn't "NO GOOD," which is the goddamned problem. It's AWESOME, and then it destroys your life.

Talking about it like it was never fun is like inviting a polar bear into the dining room and pretending it isn't ready to rip your head off and suck out your lungs. That's the danger of denying it its allure.

BUT the cravings, y'know, they pass, and your new life just keeps on, sometimes good, sometimes bad, more good as time goes on.

PM me if you want to have this conversation is a less public forum.

It gets better if you take care of yourself. Shit, Boom, I got married, I own a house, have two rotten dogs and have no debt beyond my mortgage. I even have more than one pair of shoes!

Seriously, PM me.

Did it once, got sick, have never done it again.

Coke is a different story. I haven't done it in eight years and have no interest to ever do it again. I learned my lesson.

I have the discography but I infinitely preferred Drive Like Jehu.

dontfeartheringo wrote:I have been clean for 12.5 years. Thirteen in January, insh'allah.

Cheers to that!

dontfeartheringo wrote:Mr. Bats (can I call you "Boom"?)

Certainly.

dontfeartheringo wrote:(There are two dogs in your soul- a good one and a bad one, and they always fight, etc.... you've heard this parable?)

Never heard it, but sounds kind of like "monkey mind."

dontfeartheringo wrote:I have to disagree with Mark Hansen. Heroin isn't "NO GOOD," which is the goddamned problem. It's AWESOME, and then it destroys your life.

Talking about it like it was never fun is like inviting a polar bear into the dining room and pretending it isn't ready to rip your head off and suck out your lungs. That's the danger of denying it its allure.

That is so true. I've heard so many people demonize the junk, and then 2 months later I run into them and they've got the Dope face on. The truth is it can be the best shit in the world.

Boombats wrote:I haven't booted up in a long time but it's on my mind sometimes. I am the ONLY person I know that never got officially strung out. I guess I had a chemical intolerance to the addictive side. The closest I came to having typical junkie tendencies was for a couple of years, I was able to smell it on people (no shit) and right before I'd do it I'd get nauseous and sometimes have to puke first. I OD'd a couple of times, but nowhere near as heavy as some of the people I know. The main thing that keeps me from doing it is, I don't want to drag anyone else down. After all these years (I'm 31 and I first did it when I was 19) I realize the inadvertent effect I may have had on others. It's nearly impossible to do that shit without influencing other people to do so as well, at least unless you have your own connection AND they are a dyed-in-the-wool junkie. It's some rough shit but at the same time it's the fuzziest blanket of love you can find outside of a magickal relationship.

Anyway I'm not fucking around, but I figured there's gotta be some folks in the forum that know what I'm talking about, and talking about it is the best way to beat the beast. Tanx

I'm busy as HELL right now. Too busy to post in a couple other threads I'd like very much to post in. But I just skimmed over this one and thought I'd duck in for a moment and encourage you to hang in there, Bats.

Don't do it!

This may seem hypocritical coming from a chronic weed smoker, but seriously, don't give in to that urge to mess around with junk again, however harmless it might seem. That's stuff is no joke and you and everyone else on the fucking planet knows this.

Remember: you want to improve the quality of your life as you get older.

That's a big part of why going on living is cool-- you can actually get somewhere in life if you learn from your mistakes.

Best of luck if you need it.

It ruins everything in your life.

You don't need it, you just want it.

briefly-

I had a girlfriend whose grandmother was Oglala Sioux and through her granddaughter came this:

There are two dogs in your soul, and they fight all the time. One is good and one is bad, and they influence what you do. Whichever one wins is the one that you feed the most.

It's been a long time for me, but I still go to meetings. I tried to do it without meetings, no success. Different things work for different people, of course, but I have found that (apparently) weak, sour coffee, Chipsahoys and rooms full of other ex-junkies are the best thing to keep me out of trouble. (I don't actually mind the coffee considering the price and the people who come with it...)

I am not interested in arguing the efficacy of meetings or have the whole higher power debate here in the EA forums. So, haters, you can suck it. Nearly thirteen years ago, I was a junkie piece of shit. Now, not so much. Your mileage may vary.

tommydski wrote:I have the discography but I infinitely preferred Drive Like Jehu.

Damn, I was going to do the Clikatat Ikatowi / Gravity reference.