Obviously, I'll start. Back at ess-eye-yew my then GF asked me what those marks were on the end of my weenie. I mumbled something about catching it in my zipper. I felt good, the explaination seemed to fly. I thought I got away with it. (for those squirts who don't know, IUDs at that time had a piece of mono-filament attached which was intended for extraction but which functioned more like one of those wire cheese cutters. At 21 years old I couldn't even feel it due to libido).

Then my GF then asked what those eight scratch marks were on my back. The first thought through my penis mind was "I'm such a dood". I was an effin stud doin my chick on the side so good got scratches of passion.

BUSTED! I never knew punches from a 5' 2" 100Lb woman could hurt that much. My penis brain recoiled at her rather articulate and devastating verbal onslaught. Fuck - Never, would I ever want to go through that again.

We've both happily moved on but thankfully she is particularly understanding soul and to this day we're still good friends, but she'll never let me off hook.

I didn't get busted; I came clean when I realized that I considered going home to my wife every night to be cheating on the new person. Yep, that's mighty fucked up, but there it is.

Death threat delivered via email at 2am.

Better than No-Døz, that.

fucking text messages

Logging into my email account and reading what I was writing to people.

The Code is Almighty wrote:Logging into my email account and reading what I was writing to people.

I don't follow you. Did you accidentally send emails to the wrong people or something?

Wood Goblin wrote:

The Code is Almighty wrote:Logging into my email account and reading what I was writing to people.

I don't follow you. Did you accidentally send emails to the wrong people or something?

apparently she looked at the emails he'd sent.

Wood Goblin wrote:

The Code is Almighty wrote:Logging into my email account and reading what I was writing to people.

I don't follow you. Did you accidentally send emails to the wrong people or something?

Nine years ago I was stationed in Monterey, California. I was doing the long distance thing with the girl back home. We were horrible at it and would break up and then get back together all over the phone. I started dating girls in Monterey and wrote something to a buddy that read "yeah, I'm hanging out with this girl named Adrienne, I think you'd really like her." Using my America Online account.

One day the girl back home called me and asked who Adrienne was. My mind was blown, I had no idea where she'd heard the name Adrienne. We spent all night on the phone while I slowly tried to get her to tell me while I made sure I didn't say too much. She finally told me that she was logging into AOL as me and reading my mail. When I found that out, what exactly she read, I came up with the story that I meant Adrienne was a friend of mine and my buddy would really dig her.

DLI, Ft. Ord or Presidio?

I met my wife at M.I.I.S.

DLI

"We Learn Spanish So You Don't Have To"