this was on the back of a potato-chip bag

jevat_Archive

this was on the back of a potato-chip bag

1 by jevat_Archive

i don't regularly eat junk food, but lately i've been on the "policeman's diet" (meaning, coffee and donuts), and since there's no krispy kreme nearby, one night i was compelled to visit the nearest snack shop.

for some reason, potato-chips seemed appealing that night. i got a type i'd never seen before, because it was cheap. and when i got home, i read some of the strangest "back of a potato-chip bag" material that i'd ever seen. i thought i would share some of it with you:

The Life and Times of Uncle Ray
Chapter 32:
"Thank you Lord"

"When was the last time you thanked God for the air you breathe? Or for keeping our space ship (this world) in balance? A few thousand miles toward the sun and we would burn up and a few thousand miles away from the sun and we would freeze. I know I forget to thank God for my food as well as so many other things as often as I should. God I am sorry, but thank you for loving me!!"

then followed some inspirational passages that he felt best conveyed his faith in God, along with Ephesians 6:12, and then he summed it all up with this:

"We know you have a choice when buying potato chips."
--Uncle Ray

accompanying this were pictures of Uncle Ray and his wife, Myrna, their dog Suki, and his children, Jennifer, Ray Jr., and Sandy.

the reason why i'm bringing these things up is because three questions came to me while i ate the chips:

one: is it odd that a person is conveying his life story on the back of a potato-chip bag?

two: is it odd that a person is referring to the world as a "space ship"?

three: since there is a Ray Jr., does that mean that the guy's own son calls him "Uncle Ray"?

i must admit, even if the story was just space-filling colonscrape, i kind of felt bad throwing the bag away. but then, i thought, surely this guy realises that his life story is only going to wind up in every landfill in the nation? seriously, is anyone going to save a nasty, greasy-as-shit potato-chip bag just because a little old man's picture is on it? no, they are not.
but even the little orange sticker on the front of the bag said, "99 cents...SEE STORY ON BACK!"

i will say that i got a little more than i bargained for--i thought i was only buying some chips to appease a late-night junk food "need"...but i got a damn good laugh as well, thanks to good ole' Uncle Ray.

regards,
jet.

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