I'm working with second edition here so here is one.

Gauntlets of Lubrication. +4 dex in Dwarf masturbation rituals.

I created a Lead Feather that let you fly but It got heavier every round you used it so you had to make checks to see if you dropped it and fell to the ground taking fall damage.

I made a glass wasp that you could throw at people and they would be enveloped in a swarm of 1d20 wasps that each caused automatic 1hp of damage per round. Every round the person could attack the wasps with a guaranteed automatic hit. Every damage point they made killed a wasp until they were all dead and the final wasp returned to the person that threw it.

I made a tin drum that radiated thunder damage in a 10' radius for my Bard based on Oskar Matzerath.

Items are the best.

Jar full of bees.

Bag of Holdin'


Like a Bag of Holding, except full of whatever drug you want.

A bag of holding from a construction site that is just full of bricks

Michael Jackson Gloves of Semen Snaring.

Carrion Cruller.

Exactly what you think it is.

Prison Wallet: Allows you to imprison a creature in an interdimensional space in your butt.

Glove of Tugging... for tugging better.

X-Ray Specks: allow you to see the bones in your hand, but only the bones in your hand. Skeletons hands look like normal hands.

Elon Musk Cell Phone of Stock Manipulation. Item is also cursed, you have to wake up next to Grimes.

Deck of One Thing. Drawing a card makes a grilled chess sandwich appear.