I have a bunch of internal ticks that there’s zero chance I’d let slip into polite company.

Specifically I have a habit of internally muttering “big dicks” to myself whenever someone does something irritating.

I’m a alone here?

Gramsci wrote: Sat May 18, 2024 10:28 am I’m a alone here?

No, but mine's sometimes a replay of self-nitpicky criticism from small times. Over the years I'd worked on correcting it with stuff like "Notice that thing over there that has nothing to do with me: isn't that cool?"

Maurice wrote: Sat May 18, 2024 1:30 pm

Gramsci wrote: Sat May 18, 2024 10:28 am I’m a alone here?

No, but mine's sometimes a replay of self-nitpicky criticism from small times. Over the years I'd worked on correcting it with stuff like "Notice that thing over there that has nothing to do with me: isn't that cool?"

Does this include randomly remembering embarrassing things you did or said in the past?
I'm beginning to think this is one way Tourette's can start: remembering and then involuntarily muttering "oh for fuck's sake. You fucking idiot"

Oh my entire existence is spent tamping down an always-bubbling-under-the-surface urge to just go full Dr. Gregory House at any- and everyone around me. But I also hate making people miserable, so

it sucks, man

I caught saying "bleurgh" all the time, from Tina Fey's character Liz Lemon (30 rock), then this became bleurgh-o-rama, then a bit more elaborate e.g. oh man that's bleurgh central. And more stupidly still, "paging Doctor Bleurghington." Also, "This is Bleurghdorf, come in - over."

More recently I seem to have contracted this annoying verbal tick of saying "for realsies" instead of just "for real??" But this has, like with previous annoyances, gained an expansion pack and become "for realsingtons??" And occasionally, "for absolute realsingstons???"

andyman wrote: Sat May 18, 2024 2:50 pm

Maurice wrote: Sat May 18, 2024 1:30 pm

Gramsci wrote: Sat May 18, 2024 10:28 am I’m a alone here?

No, but mine's sometimes a replay of self-nitpicky criticism from small times. Over the years I'd worked on correcting it with stuff like "Notice that thing over there that has nothing to do with me: isn't that cool?"

Does this include randomly remembering embarrassing things you did or said in the past?

Sure, why the heck not?

andyman wrote: Sat May 18, 2024 2:50 pm I'm beginning to think this is one way Tourette's can start: remembering and then involuntarily muttering "oh for fuck's sake. You fucking idiot"

That seems possible. I recall seeing some recent research pointing to other specific genetic triggers, though I don't recall the hypotheses.

around the holidays I have an urge to include the words "frankincense and myrrh" into holiday-related conversations. definitely had to shut that one down. so now usually I mumble songs to myself including the words. I think this all developed merely because it's fun to say "frankincense and myrrh"

The Doom Song

Constantly….

I usually refer to this as my "internal mumblelog." Not sure if I stole this from someone else.

It's almost always some terrible & embarrassing and also usually COMPLETELY LOW STAKES experience that could have occurred as far back as pissing my pants at the playground.* Other times it's some immature revenge fantasy where someone I care about or I have been wronged in some way - again, usually completely low stakes stuff here.

The "never say out loud" thing though is not always the case as I get caught out working through scenarios in my mind and my wife will look over at me and call me out on it in a teasing manner of course. Like "what sort of scheme are YOU concocting right now."

*Fuck. Now I'm thinking about that. This is not the mindset to be having on the job search!

andyman wrote: Does this include randomly remembering embarrassing things you did or said in the past?
I'm beginning to think this is one way Tourette's can start: remembering and then involuntarily muttering "oh for fuck's sake. You fucking idiot"

I definitely relate to this, though in my case I usually make a weird animal sound like I just got punched somewhere tender.