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I work at a cd store, I'm sure there are countless others here that do, and I'm sure all of you have tons of "Stupid Customer" stories.

My biggest pet peeve is the "oh, nevermind, you're too young to know who Led Zeppelin is"

Or, "I want some old hardcore, you know, like the ones who started everything, you know, like BANE"

Or, (customer:)" I dont think I should have to pay more when Target has this box set for $0.50 cheaper!"
(me:) "You're right.... So why aren't you at Target?"

Okay, big guy, you are to have these tale? Maybe you are to sharing with us these tale?

i work very part time at a record store that my friends run. all i do is price the used vinyl. i work a few hours a week around my other work scedule. i don't have to deal with the customers that much but some of them are just insane. recently the stores t shirts got written up in the new york times as the new cool thing and all of the sudden there are tons of people that have never set foot in the place coming in asking where the shirts are. they don't even look at the cd's or albums. just give me a t shirt cause the new york times said it's cool. wankers.

-e

Yes, I do.
Right now at the moment for example and on three other days of the week as well.

I worked for Musicland for four years. I ran three different Sam Goody stores in that time. All of you who work in indie, or at least halfway cool stores, take your stupid customer stories, multiply them by 1000, and you're still nowhere near some of the shit I heard.

wait wait wait wait wait.

dont let the topic title fool you -

I'm looking for "Stupid Record Store Customer" stories!

Not just a simple show of e-hands!

Stories! Go!

maybe someone will let me change the title to "Dumb Record Store Customer Stories" instead?

wiggins wrote:I'm looking for "Stupid Record Store Customer" stories!

I could write a fucking book...

I started off working in a independent store in California.

My last record store job was at a Wherehouse Music in the 'burbs because I was desperate for work.

Peripatetic is right: All of you folks that work in the small, hip indie stores can shut up. You don't know stupidity until you've worked for a national chain.

I used to love watching these "gangsta" kids steal shit and then, WITHOUT LEAVING THE STORE, try and sell the CDs to me.

Or the people that come in with CaseLogics full of discs that get pissed when you tell them, "We need the artwork and jewel case."

"Well, somebody's gotta buy these, right?"

"Wrong, sir."

Then they get irate, threaten you with violence, etc.

There was a guy that literally ran into Wherehouse one evening, came up to the counter and screamed at me, "Where's Willie Nelson?"

"Calm down, sir."

"I CAN'T CALM DOWN! I'M IN A FUCKING RUSH! WHERE IS WILLIE NELSON??!!"

Play stupid....

"Well, what kind of music does he play, sir?"

"UH...COUNTRY, DUH!"

"I'm not 100% sure, but he may be located in the section over there. The one with the big sign. The one that says "COUNTRY".

He pauses, then screams again, "WELL, GO GET IT!"

"Well, sir. Let me see what titles we currently have in stock."

"JUST 'GREATEST HITS' OR SOME SHIT! ANYTHING WITH THE JULIO IGLEASIUS (sic) SONG!!"

This went on and on without me ever leaving the comforts of my register. It ended with him storming out of the store and knocking down a display for "Bad Boys 2".

Now that all the stories have started to come in, it's got me thinking. I have to leave my non record store job soon, but expect a laundry list of idiot customer stories tomorrow. *Rubs hands together, licks lips*

From the ages of 17 to 20, I had a job working at CD/Record store located between Boston University and Boston College. As you can imagine, each and every Tuesday that the Dave Matthews Band released another album became the new worst day of my life.

As nearly everyone else has mentioned, there are a flood of different absurd "Stupid Record Store Customer" stories that rush to mind. Too many, in fact.

Here's a few quick ones that I immediately recall...

*On countless occasions there were customers who insisted on singing snippets of songs to me in hopes that I could help identify the song/artist they were looking for. One day I found myself assisting a man with a heavy accent of undetermined Euro-origin (perhaps Fake Italian?). He was desperate to find a cassette (yes, a cassette) of a specific song that was apparently of great importance to him (despite his unfamiliarity with the song's title or performer). Our interaction went a bit like this...

Me: "Can I help you?"

Him: "PLEASE! I am trying to find a song...on tape...BUT...I do not know the name...or who is the singer...PLEASE HELP ME!

Me: "Okay. Um...well..."

Him: "MAYBE? Can I sing to you? MAYBE you will know the song when I sing it!"

Me: (Oh no. Not again, please...) "Um...well..."

Him: "This song, I do not know all the words, but I know only this one part that goes like this..."

(In vague/weird/heavy Euro-accent. At the top of his lungs.)

"EVEN EEF, EVEN EEF, YOO DON'T WUV ME ANEE-MOHR!"

Don Henley's "Heart Of The Matter" was the song he was so eager to own. On cassette.

In the many years since his impromptu performance I always have a laugh whenever I hear this song at the supermarket or dentist's office (am I forgetting any other public places where Henley's jams are heard?).

*On the day that AC/DC's Ballbreaker was released, a classic metalhead/stoner fella slowly ambled into the store. As it happened, a representative from AC/DC's label was in the doorway, putting up a few posters to promote Ballbreaker and their upcoming area tour dates. The metalhead/stoner archetype took notice.

Him: "NO WAY! THERE'S A NEW AC/DC ALBUM COMING OUT?!?!"

Me: "Yes. In fact, it was just released today."

Him: (Clearly excited)"HOLY SHIT! WHERE'S THE CLOSEST BANK MACHINE?!"

Me: "Actually, there's one just a few doors up the street."

Him: "ALRIGHT! I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!"

I never saw him again.








P.S. Spellcheck recognizes "Stoner" but not "Metalhead".

Young, heavy, well-dressed Asian guy asks me with a smirk why we have a folk section, because nobody listens to folk he says. He was buying techno CDs. He felt we should ditch the folk CDs and expand the dance techno section which shared the same aisle. His whole attitutde was like are you an idiot? computers are now, folk music is dead . I smiled politely and then shot him.

Most recently, someone asked me the price of a CD he brought up to the counter. I told him the price, and he asked me if I could lower it. I looked at him in disbelief, kind of laughed, and told him "no". Then he made some remark about my reaction. I asked him if he would ask Best Buy or Borders to lower the price on their CDs. He annoyed me so much within the next 30 seconds that I refused to sell him the CD he wanted, and eventually kicked him out of the store. I like kicking people out of the store. Especially the yuppies that expect you to kill their ass like the people at Coconuts, Tower, etc are taught to do.

That's cool. the store i work at doesn't encourage this but i think the employees would back me up should i feel the urge.


I enjoy the line(s), and when i say enjoy what i mean is fire ants on my balls.

"This c.d. is $2 cheaper at Lou 's Records". Lous is 10 miles south from our store.

I reply "Well, You're at the wrong store aren't you! now fuck right off!"


Saying shit out loud like....."Just buy it, take it home burn it and return it."

I have seen and been party/victim to some seriously dumbass shit at the store. I think the thing that pisses me off above all others is when a customer assumes that simply because i am younger than (he/she/dick/cunt/padres-chargers fan) that i know nothing about music.
Odd that a person who pumps concrete for a living would assume they know more about music than a 29 yr old kid who has been working in a record store for 10 years.
Not only do i know more about most music than the average dickhead.
9 times out of ,10 i know more about every band/artist this customer has ever been into or will be.

I do like lying sometimes, they ask... " Is this new Weezer cd any good?"

"Fuck yeah Brosef! that shit will blow your mind!".

"Right on, I'll take it."


They're happy, I'm mean and thats the way i like it.