mattw wrote:wire
magnet
uncut

okay I rank 'em:

wire, she comes first, because even tho she is written by ridiculious chin stroking englishmen she covers more of the music that I am interested in, also they have byron coley, my most beloved rock crits of all-time. also the wire she publish a picture of myself and my wife in a crowd shot in dec! none of these other mags publish a picture of me..

uncut, she is pretty good mag, she cover music and movies and books and she have nice pictures, but uncut she likes everything! nothing is bad to uncut, everything is good, but in real life so many things are so bad, so terrible I feel I can never trust uncut, but when I need to kill some time at work uncut she come in very handy

magnet, she is okay mag, sometimes she cover music I like, but too much she cover music that make my eyes roll, also she have the same ugly layout for like a hundred million yrs and is so boring to me. m,agnet, she is my "last resort" mag on the news stand

To Rank these shared community dirty thing! Grazie!

Metal handrail on public transportation (Chicago elevated!) during winter coughing sneezing time!
Seemingly new pair of size 10 bowling shoes -- but with visible sweat/salt lines!
Real slutty -- but real nice and smart -- high school football cheerleader who only want to be your "friend"!

brad!

first, il classici! this rank of mags, she is perfect. grazie mille.

now brad!

the cheerleader, she is number one 'with a bullet.' to be slutty, she is far from worst of things to be. for example, to be prude, she is much worse. to have adventure of sex with this adventurous and eager young lady, this is beautiful, for the human body, she is beautiful. and two human body, she is even more beautiful. three, this is problematic, i think probably. but i made a digress to some other thing. cheerleader, in her pleat skirt: great. but to be careful (this means wear a rubber condom on yourselves), this is a must! but number one time for sure!

bowling shoe, this is green and red, with the size on back heel of shoe. the sweat stain, she is ok pretty gross, but not to give you infectious disease. so second place!

metal handrail, or doorknob, or toilet handle, or whatever. this in a public place, i say, you make a 'wide berth' from this thing. not a birth. a berth. or...if you must to touch, if you stumble to fall and must to the rail make your hand...then do not to touch your face! make the hand to go in the sink, but when you to turn off the sink, use the paper towel you have ALREADY made from the dispenser (so not to touch dispenser handle)! then take the OTHER paper towel already made from other dispenser, wipe hands, throw towel in garbage, and open door with your elbow!!!!! THIRD PLACE!!!!!
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rank!

kobe bryant
king cobra malt liquor
bram stoker, who has written the original version of DRACULA!

Bram Stoker is a Number One! there is a movie called Nosferatu because of Bram, these a word Nosferatu is a great word! it is a funny word! Thank you Bram

King Cobra i do not want to drink you, but i do not think you to rank below boring celebrities, so you are number two.

Kobe it is not too late to start a bad acting career, good luck you are Last Place.

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rank:

Andrew Gill
Andy Gibb
Greg Ginn

!

Bram Stoker is a Number One! there is a movie called Nosferatu because of Bram, these a word Nosferatu is a great word! it is a funny word! Thank you Bram

King Cobra i do not want to drink you, but i do not think you to rank below boring celebrities, so you are number two.

Kobe it is not too late to star in a many the bad action movie, good luck, you are LAST Place.

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rank:

Andrew Gill
Andy Gibb
Greg Ginn

!

please to become ranked

goose that lays golden egg
duck-duck goose
goose step march

okay, no time to rest for the rank

goose that lays golden egg- Hrrm...okay, well it is better to have a goose that lays a golen egg than a goose that doesn't lay shit, so you are number one

[b]duck-duck goose - I remember this game of the old day, when you were just the squirt, but my memory has faded, what is the duck duck goose?

goose step march Okay.

Rank, if you feel like, the carpenters:

jesus christ
john carpenter
the carpenters

I was to think duck duck goose was the real first one. In this you do not have the choice of who decides you are a goose but I thought of it as shape shifting: before being designated as "goose" I was merely only duck.

Goose with golden egg is the real next one. Despite what that gander was shooting the egg is still all mine until someone steals it. Let them be trying!

Goose step marcher. At real disadvantage when weighted with all of the field equipment. Reserved for badguys in their fluff and polish duds and Hair Metalists.

O-che my beautiful friends. I make these to rank.

I so love the way she has become a kind of courtesy to make the introduction to these answer in these rank game. She say "O-che, I make these rank," or "I will make these rank for you my friend..."

I, Serafino Francisco Albiznonini, will to make her these rank.

jesus christ O-che, he is the number one. These Jesus guy, he is some nice guy, si? So much more the nice than you can say the Rollins or the Ginn. So nice. He likes the common dirty peoples. He becomes minor prophet of Islam. He is good guy. He says so many the good things about how to treat each other. I like him, so he is the number one.

I don't know if he is for real the "Christ," savior of the Jew people. I don't know. I think maybe no, he is just guy. Good guy. But no the holy Savior guy.

I don't know, but is silly to me. Can he no be just a real good guy? Why they have to make the weird with God, these people. Is so special and great to have the good guy and teaching guy. So great. Why is not enough for them, the God people. Why? Already so great a guy. He is number one.

john carpenter He makes these movie, so stupid. So stupid but also to maybe like in postmodern ironic way. And so many the guy wish forever he is named Snake Pliskin. And he is to save money by play his own score on the synthesizer Moog with only one the hand. So much money he is save. And also is the P.J. Soles to be have teenage sex with the guy, but he is humping her knee if you look real close. Che Baccala! Due! Numero Due!

the carpenters Bastardi Carpentieri! These are no good! No good! These music suck the mule cock. Is for moms only or maybe the "Calling Occupants" for spooky drug experience scene in the Afterschool Special. But otherwise, no. Is crap. Come on, you know it. Is crap. No no no. Is crap. So is the three.

grazie serafino!

I am just to think of something else...

Rank, these of the immigranto!

'immigrant song'
'wayfaring stranger' aka 'over jordan'
'one in a million' (not so nice gnr song)