James Brown

about three years ago at the Barbican in London (sit-down classical-type venue).
Supported by the Jazzcotech Dancers. Imagine what that name suggests, and then multiply down in shit by a factor of ten.
JBs band (jobbing, bored old hacks rather than whip-trained funkasha lotharios) cook up three flabby jams before the fat washed-up old git graces London with his presence. Sings about a verse, a couple of ows! and a huh!, and then walks off. Band play for five mins. Comes back on, does, 'Funky Good Time'. Sods off again. Then some brassy, Sarah Jane-Morrisesque boomy soul lady comes on and does two cover numbers. JB does 'Soul Power', then buggers off again, as do I. End-of-pier crap. Perhaps I was expecting too much.

the worst concerts ive been to:

Bardo Pond: Luckily I didnt have to sit through the entire concert... But you know that a band really sucks live when your knees ache from standing too long, and all you can think about it when it will be over so the next band can come on, or that you can sit down somewhere. Their songs do not translate well to a live enviroment, its basically them onstage enjoying the loud noises coming from their amps. Very self-indulgent and boring.

The Landing: I saw them at the K records showcase at CMJ this year and luckily they weren't on very long. The same problems as Bardo Pond, except instead of a hippie aesthetic, you have micheal moore doppelgangers.

Eyes Adrift: Part of the reason this was the worst concert ive attended is due to the fact it was at House of blues, but equally horrible was the self-satisfied way they were complacent in taking everyones money just because they all used to be in other bands that were much better than the one they were in now. They played their then-yet-to-be-released album start to finish and didnt do an encore. Now im not demanding they play 'what i got' and 'smells like teen spirit', but i went there expecting to hear at least a few meat puppets songs --preferably SST era. Nope, no deal.

I didnt think Party of Helicopters was as bad as any of these previous bands, although hardly worth remembering. I'm glad someone is with me that 'these arms are snakes' sucks. There was a lot of hype surrounding them, but i thought their record blew.

gratified wrote:TV On The Radio sound like Monster Magnet. I have given that damn ep at least 4 full listens and still cant dig it at all. The Mr Grieves cover is good as novelty, but why all the fuss? Fuck man there are plenty of new bands that are a hell of a lot better and these bitches are getting WAY too much attention. I can't wait til they put out a god awful debut LP and people shut up about them.

the LP is alriiiight, but i don't think they're god awful. then again, i wouldn't be all over their nuts like those indie fanboys at pitchfork, either.

i think the only band i've ever been moved to heckle repeatedly is love jones. someone who was in some incarnation of slint was in this band? i think? i recall this being their claim to fame.

they played this incredibly misbegotten lounge poop. this was back when i.m.l.p. was in vogue.

slowriot wrote:

gratified wrote:TV On The Radio sound like Monster Magnet. I have given that damn ep at least 4 full listens and still cant dig it at all. The Mr Grieves cover is good as novelty, but why all the fuss? Fuck man there are plenty of new bands that are a hell of a lot better and these bitches are getting WAY too much attention. I can't wait til they put out a god awful debut LP and people shut up about them.

the LP is alriiiight, but i don't think they're god awful. then again, i wouldn't be all over their nuts like those indie fanboys at pitchfork, either.

Monster Magnet? Hmm. That's an interesting thought.

Saw TV On The Radio on the stage opening for the Fall. It was....mid-fledged. When it was on, it was really on, when it was off it was reeaally off.

Didn't motivate me to get the records.

PS - The Fall kicked ass.

tmidgett wrote:i think the only band i've ever been moved to heckle repeatedly is love jones. someone who was in some incarnation of slint was in this band? i think? i recall this being their claim to fame.

Conga/singer player was drummer from Squirrel Bait. Also, briefly, Lemonheads, pre-pop supersuckage.

they played this incredibly misbegotten lounge poop. this was back when i.m.l.p. was in vogue.

Wow! Remember me?! I'm Combustible Edison!! Where am I now?!? I'm in all those "hip" bars that played Esquivel to death!! I'm the music soundtrack for when big band trombone players want to get the Special Action from their Ladyfriends!! Hey!!

i worked as a bouncer for a couple of years at bogarts in cincinnati, smack dab in the middle of the ska craze.

it was horribly depressing. every week, less than jake or goldfinger or (insert stupid ska band here) would come thru and ruin my week.

but, fugazi was suprisingly bad. i was semi excited, but well past my fugazi phase. they were uninspired, looked bored, and fucked up waiting room.
ian couldnt keep the tempo up and it was quite boring to watch. maybe it was an off night.

but blond redhead opened and they were amazing.


king diamond, very awful.
limp biscuit, i dont have to tell you.
clutch, terrible and unbeleivably boring.
everclear, i'd piss on them if i could

and there is this band i saw on hbo's reverb with les claypool, stuart copeland and that guy from phish that kind of looks like eric clapton. i dont remember their name, but it was honestly the most attrocious thing i have ever seen. i fucking hate les claypool.

i also have to agree on the polyphonic spree and the darkness.
very very stupid.

king diamond! that's the funniest live show i've ever seen, but i wouldn't rate him as bad. i went to his show specifially for the comedic value, and was not disappointed. he had all these cardboard tombstones and crap all over the stage, and above him, what looked like a bedsheet with his logo airbrushed on it. his band seemed genuinely embarrassed to be there. plus, he played "the family ghost", a song so hilarious i named my band after it.

i just want to give king diamond a big hug. i love him.

Lord knows I've been on the recieving end of this criticism before, so I'll try to be nice.

But Danko Jones was the worst. Just a cock-fest. This was in Oslo, Norge, and I thought "okay, some good old american style rock", and then I found out the fucker's canadian.

And then he stuck his tongue out after every "lick" on his guitar. And then he just sucked so bad.

But, I hear he's a nice fella, so there's that.

Ike in Kazoo

placeholder wrote:king diamond! that's the funniest live show i've ever seen, but i wouldn't rate him as bad. i went to his show specifially for the comedic value, and was not disappointed. he had all these cardboard tombstones and crap all over the stage, and above him, what looked like a bedsheet with his logo airbrushed on it. his band seemed genuinely embarrassed to be there. plus, he played "the family ghost", a song so hilarious i named my band after it.

i just want to give king diamond a big hug. i love him.

maybe bad isnt the best word to describe it. i watched the whole set from the side of the stage, and the thing i noticed most was king diamond was in piss poor shape. he would hack and almost keel over in between every song, and was built like an old man.

he needs a hug.