I woke up the day before yesterday after having drunk 7 wiesse biers to discover that I'd wet myself.

I decided in that moment to go and visit my parents for the weekend.

And you?

nb: I have done more degrading things but am not willing to share them until someone raises the stakes.

Sex in the toilets of a casino with a girl I was seeing and generally treated like shit... got caught and bounced out onto the street, pants around ankles.

I deserved it.

banged my sister

One night a few years back I decided to go to the exit and get very, very drunk.
I was poppin' the pills pretty freely in those days as well, so by midnight or so I am just lit the fuck up.
It's all very hazy but I wind up back at my apartment with a girl who I can only describe as resembling a big fat goth raver Dolly Parton.
Just about the farthest thing from attractive you can imagine.
For whatever reason I decide to attempt the act of coitus with this dreadlocked behemoth.
Let's just say I am unable to mate normally, as the drink and drugs had left me limp as a noodle.
I must have thought some manual stimulation might bring me around because at one point I look down and I have most of my fingers up her butt, and she did not appear to be enjoying it.....I remember thinking 'Look at yourself....what is wrong with you, man? You should be locked up somewhere you sick fuck'
I remember pretty vividly her saying 'Wrong hole!' and me saying 'Shut up!' Which isn't me at all, normally. I am usually pretty respectful to the ladies in general, especially when they are naked in my room.
She goes to leave at some point and I follow her out to her car, I am butt naked standing on the corner of Irving Park and Richmond at about 6am on a Tuesday ranting and raving at this big fat girl.
Cars are honking and people are yelling shit. She tells me to go put some clothes on, I stumble inside and put a shirt on and come back out with no pants or underwear. I don't remember anything else till my landlord wakes me up in the hallway and tells me to go inside my apartment.
I actually made it to work that day maybe 2 hours late still way way fucked up.
The girl sent me an email the next day saying she had a great time and hope we can do it again sometime.
I can't imagine what her idea of a bad first date is if that was a great time....

Marsupialized wrote:I remember pretty vividly her saying 'Wrong hole!' and me saying 'Shut up!'

I dunno why, but I actually laughed out loud (LOL) at that, and I've never laughed at anything I've read on this board before tonight. Good job!

I don't drink, but once I got really messed up on some bad NyQuil and fell asleep in a chair. Yes, you read that right -- a chair, not a bed!!!

Next time try about two more bottles of NyQuil-- you will not go to sleep. You will, however throw up for one hour and then hallucinate for eight or ten.

I was so druck once that I listened to a Nick Drake record all the way through and then went to an Iron & Wine show. Fucking awful.

I looked up Jonathan Richman in the phone book. I wanted to talk to him apparently.

I cried at some parties in college.

How about "most degrading thing a friend has done while drunk"?

(You might think I'm covering for something I actually did but you're wrong. If I did this, no way would I even mention it).

I had a buddy get so drunk at a party that he went outside to take a shit in the backyard!!! During the party!!

The problem was that he was too drunk to properly balance in the hunkering position. He did manage to squeeze out a turd or 3 but also managed to fall back in it. When he came back into the party he was too drunk to realize that he was wearing a fair amount of his own excrement right there in front of god and everyone. (It was on his backside).

I was one of the first to notice and also left shortly thereafter. (How does one handle this situation? I wasn't about to even try).

From what I heard, he was put into the bathtub with his clothes on by 2 saint-like girls.

Yes, they bathed him in his own shit-water.......probably without gloves of any kind.

Luckily, he says he has absolutely no recollection of the event. The saint-like girls never mentioned this at all.

I like, post to message boards when I'm drunk and stuff.

I know, pretty embarassing.

OK.. so I was going to some Halloween party and taking shots of whiskey from a friends flask, a few beers. Got drunk. Smoked some weed. Got sick. We all crowded into a cab to go home. I puked on the floor of the cab.

A couple puking stories, but really, youse guys got me beat.

I was out with a friend of mine and after a very large amount to drink, he decided to stay the night at his girlfriend's flat.

She let him in the flat and he managed to get to bed.

However.... She woke up halfway through the night and shouted at him "what is that fucking smell?". He was squatting in the middle of her bedroom floor taking a shit.

He responded by shouting at her, "what the fuck are you talking about?". He then realised that he had laid what he described as a "cow pat" on her floor.

A few months later, on his 21st birthday, he did a similar thing and tried to get into her flat on his way home. She wouldn't let him in.

He decided to climb up to her first floor tenement flat via the drain pipe which ran down the side. He managed to get to the first floor, but lost his grip and fell off. He landed on a set of cast-iron spiked railings. One spike ripped through his arse, the other went through his scrotum. He walked home with blood pissing down his leg and his mum took him to the hospital where he was asked if he had taken any drugs before offering him strong pain-killers. After taking them, he fainted.