Hi, this is my first post! fantastic forum by the way. I love all the unrelated forum things like these.

Well here is my answer:

I live in the UK and you guys from the states probably haven't had the pleasure of hearing these "boy bands with guitars". And I hope to christ they don't pollute your shores.

1. BUSTED - A *cough* pop punk Green Day/Blink 182 blatant rip off aimed squarly at the pre teen market. The bass player even dresses identical to the prick from 182. The current claim to fame: The theme from the new Thunderbirds shitefest. Every picture they take seems to have them with their head cocked at an angle with a gormless open fish mouth. Good job we can't get guns in england

2. MCFLY - Exactly same as above, but 3 years younger. Main singer has a pronounced lisp which must have taken some serious de-essing in the studio.

both of the above are considered trendy, hence nearly ever gig you go to in the UK has clones of these as a support band. Oh, and i forgot the whole striped shirt with an old school tie and baggy combat pants with a chain combo. errrrr

3. METALLICA - I love the old stuff. Never mind the abysmal new music, but why oh why has James Hetfield gone from Jagermeister drinking buffoon to speaking like a born again christian with a counselling degree in what seems like 6 months. Maybe if I watch "some kind of monster" i will get the joy of finding out. Cliff Burton must be turning in his grave!

Whoo. feel better now. Thank you.

1. Helmet - Even though I loved their first two records, their last two sucked ass, and it seems that every sixth person that listened to them felt the need to go form a huge guitar rock band, infused with rap. I think this would go a long way towards obliterating all of the Korn/Limp Biscuit/Slipknot ilk

2. Hootie and the Blowfish - for making shit pap acousto-electric singer songwriter music so palatable to the masses that every night in every major city some asshole plays a tender set of power ballads, completely unironically. Plus Hootie's voice is pitched at a correspondingly annoying yarl, akin to Pearl Jam, a second voice syndrome that fused brains in post-frat bars across the country.

3. Green Day/Offspring (tie) - They are the root of all evil, the source of the power pop that co-opted "punk" and made it hack. Look at any copy of Spin magazine or Alternative Press, and ask yourself who really influenced these bands? It doesn't sound like Nirvana to me.

LAD wrote:Press a magic button and three currently existing bands are no more. What three bands do you excise and why would it make the world a less crappy place?

1. Lou Reed - No Lou Reed, no Velvet Underground. It is said (mostly by PR wankers) that everyone who heard a VU album started a band. In this case, no VU=that many shitty bands did not form. Therefore, a better world for all of us.
2. P. Diddy - The ultimate slacker. Even his delivery is late. Goodbye.
3. The Polyphonic Spree - this is a dangerous trend that needs to be nipped in the bud before it flowers. I don't want to listen to any more Ironic Christian Hymns.

This is a toughy. There are so many that stir my ire to the degree of blind infuriation. I am truly unable to name a top 3. How about if we just say kill popular radio (any radio station that has a "sanctioned" playlist that just repeats itself over and over again) and that might stop some of the procreation of absolutely trite, homogenous, post grunge, Hip-Hop, Bullshit now!

~~ CprlCoffee

toomanyhelicopters wrote:

XBangyrdead wrote:If I had a 4th spot... it would be either Slipknot or Korn. I forget which is which anyways.

slipknot is the one with the monster drummer.

thanks for clarifying...

are slipknot the ones who dress up like clowns and shit?

doude, it's like i said. they dress up like monsters.

yeah, they're hot off the gwar tip. it's kinda brilliant in a way. kids are stupid and buy into it as being all cool and stuff, and also they get to be huge pop successes, and maintain their anonymity if they want. so they can be world famous millionaires, and still walk down the street. eleven thumbs up!

toomanyhelicopters wrote:doude, it's like i said. they dress up like monsters.

yeah, they're hot off the gwar tip. it's kinda brilliant in a way. kids are stupid and buy into it as being all cool and stuff, and also they get to be huge pop successes, and maintain their anonymity if they want. so they can be world famous millionaires, and still walk down the street. eleven thumbs up!

Yeah. I couldn't agree with you more.

1. Dave Matthews Band, with a big gun

2. Dave Matthews Band, with a large knife

3. Dave Matthews Band, with napalm

Just to be sure I don't ever have to hear that whiny shit again.

1. aerosmith: words cannot properly express how much i loathe this band. no, their older records were not good. their more recent stuff barely qualifies as rock music of any sort. they have THE most obnoxious singer ever. hell, mayhaps their generic bar-rock crap would be almost palatable with a different singer, but i seriously doubt it.

2. tie: jane's addiction and the red hot chili peppers. both are entirely worthless and should be exterminated.

3. korn: for reasons stated repeatedly by other posters.

hell, i wouldn't mind smiting rush, the pixies, steely dan, van halen, the eagles, and countless other bands as well...

n-eight wrote:1) !!! - Goddamnit I hate this band.

2) Moby. Just to let somebody else write music for car commercials.

3) Red Hot Chili Peppers. You can only remake the same album so many times.

I was gonna post this exact list before i even read your post, substituting Moby with Rooney though. tough call..

!!! on the other hand is a no-brainer. they represent all the things i hate about underground music, something i actually care about. crap crap crap.