Fan letters are rarely a good idea but occasionally we think they are, and we are all allowed to write three fan letters, tops, in our lives.

I've written two, both in 1993. The first was to Table, sending a graphic for their next record (but they'd already split and didn't reply). The other was to Dan Clowes, and he sent me a cartoon.

I also wrote to Devo, as a kid, asking for work. Cautiously, I didn't mention I was a fan. No reply.

I also remember John Peel saying that the only fan letter he'd ever written was to Steve Albini: I wonder if he got a reply?

When I was in jr. high, I joined the Dead Milkmen fanclub. I kept on getting comic books for years and years. They were really funny too.

I remember that song about my favorite smells, and how sometimes he smells just like a garbage strike after the horse flies are 3" long...

I was in South Philly during the summer a few years ago, and even without a garbage strike, that part of town smells like a dumpster.

Smell me...

I wrote to choking victim once when I was 13. I got the same letter I sent back like 2 months later.

that's the only one I wrote.

I wrote Rod Carew once.

He never wrote back.

He didn't return the enclosed baseball card I asked him to sign.

I plan to mention this when we meet.

I sent a fan letter to Seam when I was 15, asking if they would consider playing my hometown (Dubuque, Iowa). I never got a reply back and 7 months later they played an early show at Gunnerz (RIP) in Iowa City that I, thankfully, got to see.

I never wrote a fan letter again.

No big deal in my book.

-Jeremy

i've sent drawings to low for alan and mimi's daughter

I wrote David Berman of Silver Jews to ask him if he wanted to come do a reading of his stuff in Houston once. He didn't want to. But we had a few nice postcards back and forth.

When I was about 13 I had the idea to write Eddie Van Halen, but I never did it. I wanted to ask him to give me one of those red and white guitars. I had a few different angles for the letter, at one point I think I was going to act like I was retarded or something so he would feel sorry for me and give me the thing. Kids say the darndest things. Tell me I wouldn't rule now if I had a red & white van halen guitar on ebay for 100 grand or something because eddie had thought I was 'special'. I'd be a scumbag, but one with 100k.

oh i also sent silkworm some beef jerky once.

i sent a letter to poison, i was 10. a few weeks later i received the application to join their fan club, it also costed $25.00. i was shocked. i decided to like GNR much more that day.