j_harvey wrote:

Mark Hansen wrote:I own an open top two person kayak. It looks like a cross between a canoe and a kayak.

I hope this is your *first* kayak?

Yes. I specifically bought it to fish out of, not for running rapids.

It was made by Perception. I believe the model is the Keowee III.

M_a_x wrote:I dunno! I'm thinking of Superchunk's debut record - it really is a couple singles filled out by crap.

Kinda sounds like all Superchunk albums to me.

What a stupid fucking thread. And I started it too.

Okay, SOME bands should only have been allowed to release one album.

Uh that's what I meant.......

Some bands shouldn't be allowed to record albums at all.

Or perform in public either, for that matter.

Colonel Panic wrote:Some bands shouldn't be allowed to record albums at all.

Or perform in public either, for that matter.

Or go kayaking, or canoeing, or tubing.

In fact, I'd go so far as to confiscate their sprinklers, as well as their instruments, before having them spayed.

Musicians Bah! Soon, artificial intelligence will allow computers to make their own kind of music, and there will be no more need for human musicians.

The MayorofRockNRoll wrote:Soon, artificial intelligence will allow computers to make their own kind of music, and there will be no more need for human musicians.

Years ago, I read an interview with Richard D. James where he talked about how he was working on a program that would write his music for him.


I have this feeling that he was either lying or joking...

That's a great idea. I will write such a computer program.

There will be a drop-down menu with a list of genres, like rock, jazz, pop, blues, country, classical, klezmer, oldies, etc.

All you have to do is select a style, select a tempo in BPM's, song length and what key you want the song in, and the program will do the rest.

I'll compile samples of the most famous musicians in the world playing just one note on their preferred instruments, and those notes will be placed into a database from which the application will draw to create the music.

That way, if anybody complains about the record, I can say, "Hey, it was good enough to bring together Itzhak Perlman, Shahid Parvez, Albert Ayler, Earl Scruggs, Kerry King, Les Claypool and Neal Peart, so you can go fuck yourself."

Call it "The Well Tuned Geniuses".

Maybe I ought to put in a rhythm selector like those old Wurlitzer living-room organs used to have. With settings like "rock," "bossa nova" and "foxtrot."

I suppose I should also have a slider control to vary the amount of consonance and dissonance. That might be fun. The rest, the actual composition of the music, will be based entirely on random number generation.

Like a synth you can program, select "blues" and it randomly assembles licks from notes by the grand masters at a tempo of your choice. Select Jazz, and key in the old standard you want it to play, choose from "free", "bop" or "cool" and you're away, only the finest and most refined honks and parps will reach your ears. Each from the lips of a superhuman master.

It would be the bachelor pad item of the decade.