i used to steal people's bookbags and leave them places. the third floor ladies room, the gym, the library, the elevator, etc.
they'd show up late to class all flustered, "where's my bookbag?!"
i'd usually send them to the wrong place a couple times first. why i never got into any fights over this is beyond me.
Fucking stupid things you used to do at school.
62Thread of the year. Such excellent tales of boredom punctuated by balls-out disorder. My meager contributions:
-In elementary school, we would take advantage of the newly arrived Iranian immigrant, who could pronounce English quite well but barely spoke it. For a couple of weeks, we would follow her around at recess and coax her to say stupid shit: "C'mon Samira, go walk over to Derek and say 'Derek is a retard.' Do it. Do it." Eventually she learned enough English to tell us to fuck off.
-Assorted high school bullshit: Billy the meathead soccer jock, entirely unprompted, pulled a portion of his scrotum out of his Umbros in geometry class and said "Hey Mrs. Furman, want some bubble gum?" To her credit, Mrs. Furman didn't skip a beat, letting it go with a sigh and an "Oh, Billy."
-A smartass friend took an AP English class, and for his final project he chose to do a glorified book report on Kant's Critique of Pure Reason. To write it, he downloaded a program that generated meaningless but syntactically coherent Kant-babble, let it run for the requisite number of pages, and turned the result in. Got an A, went to Yale.
-Vinnie the bookie's kid purchased and brought in a stolen Uzi, merely to impress his friends (or so he claimed), and would have gotten away with it had he not shown it off to some people that were wise enough to turn him in. This would now likely get him on CNN (it was rumored that it was a stolen FBI weapon), but at the time he got off with a few months of house arrest, complete with Martha Stewart ankle bracelet.
Really we should all just step aside and let davesec and buzzsaw just spin yarns all day. And if DefinitelyNOTtheSWEDE's got some additional material in reserve he should bring it forth.
-In elementary school, we would take advantage of the newly arrived Iranian immigrant, who could pronounce English quite well but barely spoke it. For a couple of weeks, we would follow her around at recess and coax her to say stupid shit: "C'mon Samira, go walk over to Derek and say 'Derek is a retard.' Do it. Do it." Eventually she learned enough English to tell us to fuck off.
-Assorted high school bullshit: Billy the meathead soccer jock, entirely unprompted, pulled a portion of his scrotum out of his Umbros in geometry class and said "Hey Mrs. Furman, want some bubble gum?" To her credit, Mrs. Furman didn't skip a beat, letting it go with a sigh and an "Oh, Billy."
-A smartass friend took an AP English class, and for his final project he chose to do a glorified book report on Kant's Critique of Pure Reason. To write it, he downloaded a program that generated meaningless but syntactically coherent Kant-babble, let it run for the requisite number of pages, and turned the result in. Got an A, went to Yale.
-Vinnie the bookie's kid purchased and brought in a stolen Uzi, merely to impress his friends (or so he claimed), and would have gotten away with it had he not shown it off to some people that were wise enough to turn him in. This would now likely get him on CNN (it was rumored that it was a stolen FBI weapon), but at the time he got off with a few months of house arrest, complete with Martha Stewart ankle bracelet.
Really we should all just step aside and let davesec and buzzsaw just spin yarns all day. And if DefinitelyNOTtheSWEDE's got some additional material in reserve he should bring it forth.
Fucking stupid things you used to do at school.
63after a few cones me and a friend used to hook a mic up to my friends guitar amp and crank the reverb, call a random on the phone and explain to them we were god (complete with reverb drenched god voice) and *insert random conversation starter here*.. lot of fun conversations that way.
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Fucking stupid things you used to do at school.
64My little group of peers used to do two things that I remember:
Pick out the freshest fish each Fall and tell him that if he wanted to ingratiate himself (we didn't actually say "ingratiate") to the big swinging dick of the group, he should casually ask the big cheese how fast his father ran the 100 meters, because "his dad was in the Olympics and he's really proud of it." Then, of course, we would all watch newbie's face as he learned that, "my dad lost both his legs in Vietnam, what the fuck are you talking about?" These poor little dudes were just, after all, trying to find the right group to hang with so they wouldn't get their asses kicked on a daily basis, and some of their reactions to this little prank were outstanding.
And since this was 1980s southern California, we all carried the Goody or Unbreakable combs in our hip pockets, so naturally the ceremonial "snap the hell out of the back of your bud's newly-sunburned neck with a comb" move was immensely popular. To this day I can tell if someone is coming up behind me from the face of the person I'm talking to.
Pick out the freshest fish each Fall and tell him that if he wanted to ingratiate himself (we didn't actually say "ingratiate") to the big swinging dick of the group, he should casually ask the big cheese how fast his father ran the 100 meters, because "his dad was in the Olympics and he's really proud of it." Then, of course, we would all watch newbie's face as he learned that, "my dad lost both his legs in Vietnam, what the fuck are you talking about?" These poor little dudes were just, after all, trying to find the right group to hang with so they wouldn't get their asses kicked on a daily basis, and some of their reactions to this little prank were outstanding.
And since this was 1980s southern California, we all carried the Goody or Unbreakable combs in our hip pockets, so naturally the ceremonial "snap the hell out of the back of your bud's newly-sunburned neck with a comb" move was immensely popular. To this day I can tell if someone is coming up behind me from the face of the person I'm talking to.
Fucking stupid things you used to do at school.
65Ahh happy days! We used to run down to a small forest near the council offices near our school and smoke a few joints out of what we had left from our weekend stash. We would then return to what was usually either an Electronics or Physics lesson and draw cartoons about our highly entertaining and good friend Dean. He was one of those guys who was kinda stupid but we loved for his comedy.
Somehow these were my best two subjects and since then I have been an electronics technician twice.
Somehow these were my best two subjects and since then I have been an electronics technician twice.
Fucking stupid things you used to do at school.
66I used to put a pen under my trousers to make it look like I have a hard on and then ask the teacher to come to me because I had a question.
Also one day, me and my best friend, we managed to steal my english teacher's handbook where all students' marks were written. Instead of changing our marks, we drew dicks everywhere inside.
Honestly, I still find it quite funny.
A lot of dicks were involved in my teenage years, I know.
Also one day, me and my best friend, we managed to steal my english teacher's handbook where all students' marks were written. Instead of changing our marks, we drew dicks everywhere inside.
Honestly, I still find it quite funny.
A lot of dicks were involved in my teenage years, I know.
Fucking stupid things you used to do at school.
67on 28jul06
on 3aug07
diego wrote:A friend and I used to steal my english teacher's notebook and instead of changing our bad marks, we used to draw dicks everywhere inside.
It still makes me laugh......
on 3aug07
diego wrote:Also one day, me and my best friend, we managed to steal my english teacher's handbook where all students' marks were written. Instead of changing our marks, we drew dicks everywhere inside.
Fucking stupid things you used to do at school.
69that damned fly wrote:on 28jul06diego wrote:A friend and I used to steal my english teacher's notebook and instead of changing our bad marks, we used to draw dicks everywhere inside.
It still makes me laugh......
on 3aug07diego wrote:Also one day, me and my best friend, we managed to steal my english teacher's handbook where all students' marks were written. Instead of changing our marks, we drew dicks everywhere inside.
At least, it proves that I don't make up stories....
But how did you remember that I already told this story???
Shit!! That's very impressive.
Fucking stupid things you used to do at school.
70My friend gave 'cool, young' English teacher Matt Shanks a homemade badge bearing the legend 'M.I.A.T.' She told him that the meaning was secret, with a saucy wink. He wore it everyday. It stood for 'Matt Is A Twat'.
Duncan was tall and wore his hair in a long ponytail. I remember a lesson in Upper Sixth when from nowhere about thirty fifth years appeared at the glass door and started chanting "JESUS! JESUS!" at him. He stood up and they ran away.
In the build up to Christmas, our A-Level maths teacher plain didn't show up to the lesson. There was a tape deck, there were christmas party tapes, an impromptu christmas party ensued. Word spread, people on free periods came to join the fun. Then Mr Flanders spotted what was going on from where he was teaching across the courtyard. He left his class to come and sort us out, and I remember the kids across the courtyard frantically signalling warnings to us. Then we got yelled at, big style, while over our shoulders Mr Flanders could see his own class going apeshit.
We used to walk up to Tanya and whisper "Tanya... Tanya... your dick's hanging out."
Everything in Mrs Wells' German lessons was blamed on Rob. He was an amenable fall-guy. "Yes miss," he would reply robotically. "Daniel is right. It was me that threw that book at Thomas. Are you going to ask me to leave the room?" Mrs Wells used to cry a lot.
I was off sick the week it all broke, but I remember returning to school to the news that enthusiastic young student teacher Mr Dick has decided on a change of career.
Duncan was tall and wore his hair in a long ponytail. I remember a lesson in Upper Sixth when from nowhere about thirty fifth years appeared at the glass door and started chanting "JESUS! JESUS!" at him. He stood up and they ran away.
In the build up to Christmas, our A-Level maths teacher plain didn't show up to the lesson. There was a tape deck, there were christmas party tapes, an impromptu christmas party ensued. Word spread, people on free periods came to join the fun. Then Mr Flanders spotted what was going on from where he was teaching across the courtyard. He left his class to come and sort us out, and I remember the kids across the courtyard frantically signalling warnings to us. Then we got yelled at, big style, while over our shoulders Mr Flanders could see his own class going apeshit.
We used to walk up to Tanya and whisper "Tanya... Tanya... your dick's hanging out."
Everything in Mrs Wells' German lessons was blamed on Rob. He was an amenable fall-guy. "Yes miss," he would reply robotically. "Daniel is right. It was me that threw that book at Thomas. Are you going to ask me to leave the room?" Mrs Wells used to cry a lot.
I was off sick the week it all broke, but I remember returning to school to the news that enthusiastic young student teacher Mr Dick has decided on a change of career.
Twenty-four hours a week, seven days a month