I need me some kenny today, let's do this

alex maiolo wrote:
Kenny Cheznez: Drunk, at your favorite nightclub the night before, you see the best rock show of your life. We're talking about seeing god here. Nursing your hangover the next morning you flip through the local music weekly to see who that fantastic band was and it turns out to be these guys:

Just then, there is a knock at the door. In your drunken haze, the night before, you agreed the let them sublet your extra bedroom. They are waving the signed contract as they walk in the door carrying mango daiquiris and the band blender.

-A

just better:Getting a hickey from Joy Behar

just worse: the mango daiquiris are super shitty


Kenny: On seeing a baby rabbit and baby squirrel playing together in yr backyard you burst into tears, tears of cuteness.

the Classical wrote: Kenny: On seeing a baby rabbit and baby squirrel playing together in yr backyard you burst into tears, tears of cuteness.

just better: When you sneeze out of nowhere and scare living Bejeessus out of everyone in the car.

just worse: The goddamn fly in the toilet when ya got your shirt off taking a shit in high heat and humidity.

Kenny-whennyumpkins: Being really nice to the people who don't use a lube.

Kenny-whennyumpkins: Being really nice to the people who don't use a lube

jb: being nicely lubed by someone you don't use

jw: not knowing exactly where the liquid on your shoe came from. seriously, where did it come from?


kenny: you've just been paid a larg sum of money to participate in a case study. you'll be traveling around the u.s. for the next 9 months in a 1984 chevy citation. your traveling companions will be tina yothers and sally struthers.

brian wrote:kenny: you've just been paid a larg sum of money to participate in a case study. you'll be traveling around the u.s. for the next 9 months in a 1984 chevy citation. your traveling companions will be tina yothers and sally struthers.

Just better: The Chev' breaks down in the middle of the Mojave Desert. After half an hour, Sally Struthers runs out of orphans to eat; she gets low blood sugar and lunges for your trachea. Successfully.

Just worse: Tina Yothers relates her life story (of which she relates several gruesome, glazed-doughnut-involving sexual scenarios with Kirk Cameron) to illustrate why Kirk's personal banana (also yellow, proven by wallet photo) is proof of god.

Kennybumpkin:

You are hungover in a Dairy Queen in remote Minnesota. While you are waiting in line, Kofi Annan and Boutros Boutros Ghali enter, hand-in-hand and talking animatedly about Bill Gates. Kofi asks you the time.

bumble wrote:

brian wrote:kenny: you've just been paid a larg sum of money to participate in a case study. you'll be traveling around the u.s. for the next 9 months in a 1984 chevy citation. your traveling companions will be tina yothers and sally struthers.

Just better: The Chev' breaks down in the middle of the Mojave Desert. After half an hour, Sally Struthers runs out of orphans to eat; she gets low blood sugar and lunges for your trachea. Successfully.

Just worse: Tina Yothers relates her life story (of which she relates several gruesome, glazed-doughnut-involving sexual scenarios with Kirk Cameron) to illustrate why Kirk's personal banana (also yellow, proven by wallet photo) is proof of god.

Kennybumpkin:

You are hungover in a Dairy Queen in remote Minnesota. While you are waiting in line, Kofi Annan and Boutros Boutros Ghali enter, hand-in-hand and talking animatedly about Bill Gates. Kofi asks you the time.

Just Better: Your perfectly sober at a Hot Doug's in Chicago, Illinois.
You order the Salma Hayek and indeed get Salma Hayek, the movie
star. You leave with her and an order of fries.

Just Worse: Your in a Hardee's in Osseo, Wisconsin. Some guys,
one in a cowbay hat and a plaid jacket, the other with mutton chops
and a Circle A sweatshirt, ask you for "gas money".


G.D. Kenny:

You've been a were-fisher for 10 years, but everyone still mistakes
you for a were-mink.

Rog wrote:

G.D. Kenny:

You've been a were-fisher for 10 years, but everyone still mistakes
you for a were-mink.

JB: Not knowing what the fuck a "were-fisher" or a "were-mink" is...

JW: Losing five minutes of my life trying to find out what the fuck a "were-fisher" or a "were-mink" is...

Kenny Wayne Shepard:

Being a fake blues guy that benefits monetarily by exploiting the tragedy of your kid falling out of a window.

nihil wrote:Being a fake blues guy that benefits monetarily by exploiting the tragedy of your kid falling out of a window.

what about being a first generation fake blues guy who exploits the (now) dead child window out falling?

(fuck clapton.)

writing the song: ok.
recording the song: ok.
releasing the song as single: not ok.
letting song be on soundtrack: not ok.
acoustic version of song: ok.
releasing single of acoustic verison: not ok.

(fuck clapton.)

that damned fly wrote:

nihil wrote:Being a fake blues guy that benefits monetarily by exploiting the tragedy of your kid falling out of a window.

what about being a first generation fake blues guy who exploits the (now) dead child window out falling?

(fuck clapton.)

writing the song: ok.
recording the song: ok.
releasing the song as single: not ok.
letting song be on soundtrack: not ok.
acoustic version of song: ok.
releasing single of acoustic verison: not ok.

(fuck clapton.)

um...play the game. you're not paying attention.

nihil wrote:

that damned fly wrote:

nihil wrote:Being a fake blues guy that benefits monetarily by exploiting the tragedy of your kid falling out of a window.

what about being a first generation fake blues guy who exploits the (now) dead child window out falling?

(fuck clapton.)

writing the song: ok.
recording the song: ok.
releasing the song as single: not ok.
letting song be on soundtrack: not ok.
acoustic version of song: ok.
releasing single of acoustic verison: not ok.

(fuck clapton.)

um...play the game. you're not paying attention.

just better: not paying attention.
just worse: i'm drunk.
k.w.s.- gets more ass than me.

that damned fly wrote:
just better: not paying attention.
just worse: i'm drunk.
k.w.s.- gets more ass than me.

Right. So let's continue the game:

Kenny Wayne Shepard:

Being a fake blues guy that benefits monetarily by exploiting the tragedy of your kid falling out of a window.