There's a Canadian gentleman sitting near me at work. He's an alright guy, but he talks to me more than I would like, about things that don't interest me much.

He's just told me that his "youngest" - one of his three dogs - has started "having problems" on the living room rug. This time was right after he'd cleaned the carpet after the previous "problem."

This led to a theory that all dogs have "bowel problems" sometime around their first year of life. He told a story of his oldest dog, Socrates, "exploding" in their previous house. The explosion was so bad that they (he, his wife, and the dogs) had to move out.

Ordinarily I'm a big fan of poop talk, but this was a little too... I don't know, clinical or something. It was kind of disgusting.

yelling freebird is inane!

This guy who sits near me at work! Every morning, he tells me about the progress he has made in some deer hunting video game. WTF? Presumably, he has heard me talk about video games with another coworker or something, but I have never shown any interest in anything hunting-related, even as a polite formality. I don't care about hunting. I don't care about hunting video games. Day after day, this guy tells me about it. Before this, he was telling me about some racing game or something. Like, all these accessories he was getting for his video game car. This guy, he is a "car guy". I am not. This guy, he is a "talker". I am not. Not with him, and rarely with anyone else ('cept the fine people of this message board, I guess). You would think that my not even bothering to feign interest at all would dissuade him, but no such luck. Always, I am to hear about the video game, or Vin Diesel movies, or the car accessories, or some other trite thing at random times throughout the day. My wearing headphones doesn't stop him, either. Aaaand he feels like he needs to discuss every call he takes with me. When I had to take tech support calls, I had bad calls too. I don't care about yours, really. I don't want this sort of "camraderie", because it is annoying. I have work (and posting) to do.

Also, he says everything is "tight". WTF? The hunting game, she is "tight". The short call time, she is "tight". The breakfast cereal, she is "tight". This guy shutting up, she would be "tight". Hey, Vanilla Ice: if you see me wearing headphones, how about not bothering me? If I take my headphones off, how about not bothering me?

The four most boring things to listen to people talk about, and the things people like to talk about the most.

a) Their dreams.
b) Their hospital operation.
c) Their pets, to non-pet owners.
d) video games you don't play

Cars are close, but the most inane and tedious and nothingy for me is the assumed common topic of conversation amongst men - TALKING ABOUT FOOTBALL. Merely concerning sport, I don't try to engage you, random person, in conversation about darts, Scrabble, poker or track athletics. But never mind.

I've mentioned it before, but it's still annoying: talking about the weather EVERY GODDAMN DAY!

It's New Orleans, how many variations on "nice out today" are there?

Oh Christ.

I have to listen to the most mind-fuckingly inane crap PLENTY at work at the moment. We recently moved premises, and now I sit near a bunch of young women who are are utter. fucking. retards.

I try to wear headphones as much as possible, but that's not good for the old ears, so I often have to listen to them.

Examples.

...

A: "I'm reading a book at the moment. It's alright actually."

B: "What's it about?"

A: "It's fiction."

...

A: "I miss Bros."

B: "Yeah. I liked Backstreet Boys."

C: "Me too. I had a crush on *?*"

B: "Yeah, he was nice."

A: "I liked Bros more."

B: "Yeah, I liked them too."

...

*On Valentines day*

A: "I'm bringing my boyfriend home a krispy kremem doughnut."

B: "That's reeeeeeeeeally sweet!"

C: "Yeah! That's lovely."

A: "Are they nice? I heard they were nice."

B: "Yeah, they are reeeeeaaaally nice."

...

A: "Next week I'm eating soup for lunch every day. I am on a diet."

B: "Does that work? I might do it too."

C: "Lets all do it. What kind've soup shall we get?"

....

I'm counting down the days until I leave.

Well, seconds actually.

I don't know if it's inane or just fucking awful, but in certain meetings some freak inevitably starts a tangent about "the lack of discipline in children today" blah blah blah. This tangent always turns into stories of god-forsaken children behaving poorly (grabbing candy off a shelf, whatever) and ends with "I would have smacked that kid in the mouth".

Then, back to the meeting. Oooo, new project!

What the fuck? Talking about hitting a kid "in the mouth" in the middle of an office meeting? In the middle of every fucking meeting that I have with these guys?

Oh yeah; that reminds me of the hilarious story from the idiot-corner from a few weeks ago where one of their sisters had been giving her 2 year-old wine to get her to sleep.

Oh how I laughed.

I have it really good where I am now. I work with two guys who are pilots. One guy who's into home audio. Another guy has some classical music interest. An nobody's a huge sports fanatic.

I wasn't so lucky in Madison. Everyone there was waaayy too much into the friggin' Badgers; all year long. In the fall is was football, in the winter Hockey, in the spring Basketball. And fantasy football, everyone was into that, and NFL pools. And hunting deer. Everyone went deer hunting, and fishing. And crappy action movies. And how they thought the Democrats had the right policies, but couldn't bring themselves to vote for them cause they'd take away their guns. And how Tammy Baldwin was a "carpet muncher". Goddamn, did I need to move to the city!

The girls in Champion Rabbit's Office wrote:A: "Next week I'm eating soup for lunch every day. I am on a diet."

B: "Does that work? I might do it too."

C: "Lets all do it. What kind've soup shall we get?"

This happened to me too, when I was, not to sound too 'Little Britain' or anything, 'the only guy in the office'.

The thing was, the girls used to take it in turns to make soup, and they always made too much, and it was, more often than not, really nice soup. I ate a lot of soup that summer.

The only thing the girls talked about more than soup was weddings. They talked about weddings so goddamn much. A lot of them were getting married as well. I can only assume that their receptions were 'soup-er'

Champion Rabbit wrote:Oh Christ.