that damned fly wrote:

Pasta wrote:I like my women like I like my coffee

Ground up in a bag in the freezer.

reminds me of:

1.) an eddie izzard joke.
"i like my coffee like i like my women. named betty."

This reminds me of a joke I made about my hated geometry teacher, which was that she liked her whiskey and her men the same age - about 5 years old.

SecondEdition wrote:

that damned fly wrote:

Pasta wrote:I like my women like I like my coffee

Ground up in a bag in the freezer.

reminds me of:

1.) an eddie izzard joke.
"i like my coffee like i like my women. named betty."

This reminds me of a joke I made about my hated geometry teacher, which was that she liked her whiskey and her men the same age - about 5 years old.

I heard some stand-up deliver another version:

"I like my Scotch how I like my women. Fifteen years old, and with lots of coke..."

An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the locals, and have a pint of bitter.

After wandering for 2 or 3 hours, he finds himself in a very nice neighborhood with big, stately residences. No pubs, no stores, no restaurants. Worst of all, he has to take a leak really badly but cannot find a public restroom.

After a frantic search, he finds a narrow side street with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to go right there behind the partial cover of a wall.

As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobby, who says, "Ahem! Sir, if you do that here, I'll have to place you under arrest."

"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really have to go, and I just can't find a public restroom."

The bobby instructs him, "Follow me".

He leads the perplexed American round a corner and through a back delivery alley to a large metal gate, which he opens.

The bobby gestures toward the gateway, "Feel free to urinate in there sir, anywhere you like."

The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, rococo statuary, lavish fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom and arranged in the most stunning patterns. Since he has the policeman's blessing, he thoroughly relieves himself and feels much more comfortable afterward.

As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby, "Wow! That was really decent of you. Is that what you call English hospitality?"

"No, sir." replied the bobby. "That's what we call the French Embassy."

Hahaha.

This isn't so much a joke as just an odd statistic, but apparently 9 out of 10 people really enjoy gang bangs.

that damned fly wrote:

Pasta wrote:I like my women like I like my coffee

Ground up in a bag in the freezer.

reminds me of:

1.) an eddie izzard joke.
"i like my coffee like i like my women. named betty."

2.) a norm macdonald joke.
(ala the dating game) if i was a popsicle what would you do to me?
first, i'd take off your wrapper. if you know what i mean. then i'd grab you by the sticks. if you now what i mean. then i break you in half on the counter, eat one half and put the other half back in the freezer.

fmp.

Why were the baby deer wearing black leather jackets?

Because they were the FAUNS!

AAAAAAAYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEE

What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?






"See you next month!"

Who's the nicest guy in the hospital?

The ultrasound guy.

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How do prisoners call each other?

With cell phones.

(ha!)

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Why does Beyonce say "to the left" in her new song?

Because black people don't have rights.

ben wrote:This isn't so much a joke as just an odd statistic, but apparently 9 out of 10 people really enjoy gang bangs.

hahahaha