1. The Eagles--Some truths should be self-evident, but beyond the obvious, I'll never forgive what they did to Joe Walsh, thereby ruining my enjoyment of the James Gang's meagre charms.

2. Billy Joel--'Cause he's a mean-spirited hack who never shoulda made it out of the Catskills.

3. U2--So I never have to see Bono's self-satisfied smirk & terrible sunglasses or the Edge's ridiculuous no-one-really-knows-I'm-bald toboggan. And they suck.

1) Supersuckers
2) Bellrays
3) NOFX

All for sucking in the most insidous way possible.

segerandpriest wrote:3) the shins.

Word.

And to think I ever need to explain why.

1. The monumental prick that is Robbie Williams. Good bye you little shitstab. A man whose smug grin is NOT, despite his own convictions, suave, but actually makes him look like a monkey having an orgasm. Persistent attempts at 'classy' music resulting in fans who now presumably frequent Athlete gigs (see below) purchasing truly phoney garbage like "Swing when you're Winning" (an apt mixture of second-rate swing covers with a football hooligan slant in attitude - see below). This, plus the fact that he maintains he should be the next Bond, mark him down as the ultimate in ego-fraud. If I HAD to search for any reason why this man is NOT crap, it would be that his career was one in the eye for the rest of Take That. But that's not saying much.

2. The godawful Athlete. For those who haven't had the 'pleasure', they sing in a more English drawl than real English people ever do, kind of like a pseudo-Coldplay shitbath. They are INTENSELY irritating, and part of that fusion between 'rock' music and thuggery, where concerts are akin to football games (see above) and it is impossible to play a feasibly sized venue. Only the stadia or fields for us, even though we've hardly done anything. Don your Reebok Classics, shove on your chav jewelry and proclaim that this is your 'rock' side. Or, alternatively, kindly fuck off.

Don wrote:
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Fathered phony honky funk punk fusion. Eliminating the Red Hot Chili Peppers would wipe out scores of irritating assholes, from Jane's Addiction to Eminem.

I wholeheartedly agree, and these boring funksters seem to attract the Williams / Athlete crowds aplenty these days. Having found the Chili Peppers song writing formula, they are now able to follow it with gusto, releasing album after album of the same awful music. However, such is my hatred for the two 'artists' above, that Chili Peppers are promoted to number 3 in my list.

Ah-fankya

Brett Eugene Ralph wrote:.

3. U2--So I never have to see Bono's self-satisfied smirk & terrible sunglasses or the Edge's ridiculuous no-one-really-knows-I'm-bald toboggan. And they suck.

I can't believe that it took 5 pages of posts before someone offed U2.

Throw them in a plague pit with:

Simply Red and REM.

YO31 wrote:

Brett Eugene Ralph wrote:.

3. U2--So I never have to see Bono's self-satisfied smirk & terrible sunglasses or the Edge's ridiculuous no-one-really-knows-I'm-bald toboggan. And they suck.

I can't believe that it took 5 pages of posts before someone offed U2.

Throw them in a plague pit with:

Simply Red and REM.

With regard to U2, this new blog might be of some use to those wishing to keep abreast.

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:

segerandpriest wrote:the frames

Are you insane or ironic?

Please advise.

i am insane, i suppose. my one true love worships that record, _the roads outgrown_: it has come to bother me. 'don't like iron and wine too much, either. but they do not make me want to puke so much as the frames.

kranky records had some great ads a year or two ago about how sick they were of everybody deciding that the vanguard move at this point is to make james taylor albums. i cannot go all the way with them, cuz i still want oldham and the mighty flashlight and all to adventure into singer-songwriter land, but jeezus.... to me the frames are the apotheosis of the "if i sing like this, you'll have no choice but to think i'm earnest" school. their cover of "new partner" is shameful. if oldham were a weaker man, it would keep him up nights, wondering after his legacy.

Maroon 5

What a band of spunkchuggers they are. The name says it all really; it's a crap colour and a crap number, and they really are a crap band. I would like to make this band more interesting by rearranging the lead singer's face with a spanner and setting the keyboard player's beard on fire.



The Polyphonic Spree

For about five minutes this band's relentless joy felt refreshing. Then the robes started to get dirty - as they would do when you're having to shit in fields because the one toilet on the tour bus is backed up with all that bottom chocolate. I'm glad I saw them for what they were eventually: cultists with a mission to induce suicide through indie-chanting.
Here they are collecting an award for "Most Imaginative Massacre" with founding member David Koresh:



Moby

I have had excursions to the toilet that are more musical than this man's output. His diet of monkey shit and petrol obviously impairs his ability to write anything interesting.

Rimbaud III wrote:Maroon 5

What a band of spunkchuggers they are. The name says it all really; it's a crap colour and a crap number, and they really are a crap band. I would like to make this band more interesting by rearranging the lead singer's face with a spanner and setting the keyboard player's beard on fire.

I keep getting this band confused with the much-more-palatable Jurassic 5. Thanks for posting the picture so that never happens again.