Just have to say to BigC and all of you whose words have been so wonderfully empathetic and kind, I am truly moved and grateful for your thoughts. Mine are with you and yours. Absolutely lovely people here.

It saddens me deeply to hear that anyone else here has been through anything like this but it is the shared experiences of people that create some universal understandings.

Again, my appreciation for such insightful and meaningful words.
I know that was a bit of a downer thing to share, but I'm glad I did.
Probably more than one phone call was made to someone's Mom just to say hi.

I am doing really well with chin up, keeping my smile on, and am making the best of everything as I go. I've got dry eyes that are still bright and wide. My Mom always wanted me to be free and happy and I will manage to work it to be a part of her care and life and move ahead with my own more over time. I am lucky that I have some very wonderful friends and a very supportive boyfriend. None of them are in this city, but they are all always there for me. Plus I'm badass tough of course.

It's probably fair play to threaten someone who says radiohead is the world's greatest rock band with a thrashing of some sort and I was never scared in Chicago.

My moment of the day today was: I played golf with my Dad. He had a hole in one. Fuck Yeah!

For a few days now, I've been hearing Nico's "Eulogy to Lenny Bruce" in my sleep. Just over and over.

Is so nice, but also sad. Why so sad, me?

Maybe I need some morphine.

so, 19 aug 2007 my first post here. one year ago. damn, time is passing so quickly.

burun wrote:I'm still depressed, so I said "Fuck this shit, I'ma go play poker."

So I am.

On my way to AC.

Wallet full of Jacksons.

Septugenarians, lookout. I'm crashing your 1/2 no limit game.

That mood always makes for interesting games of poker.

Update, please.

sunlore wrote:For a few days now, I've been hearing Nico's "Eulogy to Lenny Bruce" in my sleep. Just over and over.

Is so nice, but also sad. Why so sad, me?

Maybe I need some morphine.

Gah, I've been suffering from similar, though replace your Nico with Georges Delerue's "Camille" from Le Mépris (I am such a tart). I blame bad eating, too much drinking, and feeling rather alien at a friend's wedding this Saturday (being unmarried and without property at 31 is the New Weird with these particular contemporaries). Oh, and reading this book. Very rational, quite unsettling.

My own solution has been to return to my flat, buy lots of healthy food, eat some fruit and go swimming. Feel better already. Now need to get off the internet and off to work before I torpedo this resolute mood.

Courage mon frère!

at the company award and recognition ceremony last friday all of the people on the committee that decided who would win (monetary) awards won awards themselves, so that was convenient for them. they all make at least $100K/yr already and half make $150K+.

my short boss won a "fun award": Most Polo Shirts from Athletic Clubs.

I haven't slept with a group of particularly frightening nightmares for about a week and a half now. This morning I leaped from my bed in awakened life with an actual fear something had or was going to happen. I've been trying to recognize certain symbols, but I haven't yet come up with anything that doesn't make me sound like I'm going to go shoot up a pre-school.

Have to return a book to my ex-girlfriend. I've been enjoying pretending she doesn't exist. Then magically, she does. Odd.

I may go to Chapel Hill in two weeks to record my very close friend's power-pop band. I'm looking forward to it. Oh, and I get to play a metal guitar solo on it. May take my band along and just have a night of insanely diverse bands at some drunk's house

EP was out yesterday.



Visit the myspace for more info.

my short boss has volunteered, completely unsolicited, to at least seven different people how he went to sacramento this weekend where the weather was 30 degrees warmer and the gasoline was 30 cents less per gallon.

and,

looking through my downloads folder i found this perfectly abbreviated file.

Is that a Grateful Dead document at the top?