you ruined it, iembalm

When I lived in Milwaukee, I researched real estate title with a guy named Tim. His name was Tim, but there were those who would call him... Tim.

iembalm wrote:It occurred to me just now that those Farmers Insurance commercials, where they show some outlandish chain of events that leads to a car getting fucked up, may very well be true. But if they are, it was only after a protracted nightmare of litigation from some poor bastard who sued Farmers after they denied the claim.One of those - I think it was the drone one - was here in Hastings. I hope I run across those people someday so I can ask and find out if that was indeed the case.

When I lived in Houston I used to buy guitars from a guy named Austin. He was from Boston.

Today was a good day. Found no reason whatsoever to use my AK.

so my fire alarm goes off again for 4th time in 2 months and I m up all night exhausted and finally decide to meet up with my ex who suggests it s early enough to grab some food, and as we walk up andersonville i laughed like œremember how much we used to love hambooboo marys? œ and he squinches his eyes saying sort of because it s kitschy and because he only did stuff I liked before he had me, same as every guy before we agree to be your girlfriendsbut the burgers really are so great so we went and we re halfway through some delicious burgers when a big group of loud lincoln park chuckle heads come in for a morning bachelorette party all loud and we looked at eachother like omg... i thought it was early morning diner weekend food and didn t account for weekend brunch crowds, so I giggled and said œwelp and he squinched and I m like œmaybe they ll calm down alittle and it won t be so bad and then booming through the loudspeaker fifty decibels beyond what s humanly acceptable is a voice cheering œwhooooooo s ready for A DRAG SHOW lol live karaoke performance brunch after a night of no sleep instead of satisfying burgers and I told him if he s going to cut out do it now or else risk looking intolerant like you left because of drag and not because of zero sleep the night before somehow no sleep and a loudspeaker making my chest boom enough to resuscitate my heart in an emergency was exactly what i needed they have gluten free brownies they warm and pour a whole ice cream fudge sundae on top of and it s worth everything, second best dessert in chicago

the best dessert in chicago is at mity nice in water tower place, you skate by the other buffet choochs not needing to wait in line announcing œI m going to mity nice and they let you in like it s opening the red carpet cause it s a real restaurant and you get the butter brickle sundae they have good tuna tacos and the freshest purple grapes I ve ever had in my life and they make thanksgiving dinner on a plate yearly d but the other best is the cheesey biscuits unlimited at the table, it s some kinda puff cheddar biscuit that pretty much you fill up on until the butter brickle sundae and whatever dinner you ordered get boxed up as leftovers for another meal later or tomorrow at home lol and that s how you do it

i wish my phone would let me link my favorite naked gun clip for yous

i love the beach but why is every lifeguard angry instead of focusing on being sexy??

hot and muggy. i dont handle it so well. i miss winter every summer. and every winter i still bitch about not being able to feel my hands. and when autumn finally sets, oooh thank you god. just right.