sparky wrote: Thu May 16, 2024 4:03 pm Edit: why did I read that on the sly during a conference call while unmuted?

Here's hoping there are no repercussions, because finding a job sucks. Fortunately there's a thread about that.

I think about this a lot now that I'm nearing 50. I remember arguing with zom over politics and in his old man curmudgeony way, totally shitting on Obama and democrats and liberalism in general. Here I am now totally agreeing with zom and understanding completely where he was at.

sparky wrote: Thu May 16, 2024 12:21 pm

ChudFusk wrote: Thu May 16, 2024 12:51 am I thought the boob roll was a B.E.R. story. I don’t remember McDonald’s Mom.

It was, and beautifully written. Can’t find it in the archive, but if anyone can remember what the thread was about we could have another look for it.

I'm not sure, but it could be the "drunk story" thread or maybe the "sexual faux-pas" thread.

The ending line to that story is forever etched in my mind, though : "I had totally been going to town, sucking on one of her fat rolls".

Pure gold.

gaetano dimita wrote: Fri May 17, 2024 5:45 pm

sparky wrote: Thu May 16, 2024 12:21 pm

ChudFusk wrote: Thu May 16, 2024 12:51 am I thought the boob roll was a B.E.R. story. I don’t remember McDonald’s Mom.

It was, and beautifully written. Can’t find it in the archive, but if anyone can remember what the thread was about we could have another look for it.

I'm not sure, but it could be the "drunk story" thread or maybe the "sexual faux-pas" thread.

The ending line to that story is forever etched in my mind, though : "I had totally been going to town, sucking on one of her fat rolls".

Pure gold.

offal wrote: Thu May 16, 2024 12:54 pmfrom one of my favorite threads on the original forum -- the "Embarrasing Acts" thread. Here y'all go:

https://www.premierrockforum.com/viewto ... 671#p48671

-sam

And here’s Steve’s excellent fake Italian reply:

steve wrote: Salut! Brett Eugene Ralph! Bravo!

You are some kind savant for these incidenti, no? You make these mere-mortal-type embarrassment stories seem tame like Padre forgot to say his vespers or something. So cool the many gross-out story, Brett Eugene Ralph. So cool.

Si, I have made it with fattie. Si, si. Who among us has no story like this in his closetto? Si. In my youth, under some similar circumstance. I was, how you say... short straw of evening pull. I am in T-bird, and my friend -- is his T-bird. Il mio amico possiede questa automobile-macchina. If I no take the fat one, he says he take these T-bird and fuck off go home. And I am already some drunk (Che coincidiente! I am also drunk of the T-bird cheap vino forto! Che Baccala!), and is kind of what-the-fuck.

And so drunk I no care she has already made some vomit tonight. I no care, I am stupid of the cheap vino forto with, how you say... righteous wood of young man... blue steel hard-on rings like bell. Who here has no such story in his life? Who?

So, this is common story, we know it. But Brett Eugene Ralph! So better to mistake the Kentucky Back Fat for seni grandi! Bellisimo! You are the winner!

Un'applauso per Brett Eugene Ralph! Tutti l'applauso è per lui.

Someone should start a band or podcast called Kentucky Back Fat

ChudFusk wrote: Fri May 17, 2024 5:51 pm

gaetano dimita wrote: Fri May 17, 2024 5:45 pm

sparky wrote: Thu May 16, 2024 12:21 pm

It was, and beautifully written. Can’t find it in the archive, but if anyone can remember what the thread was about we could have another look for it.

I'm not sure, but it could be the "drunk story" thread or maybe the "sexual faux-pas" thread.

The ending line to that story is forever etched in my mind, though : "I had totally been going to town, sucking on one of her fat rolls".

Pure gold.

offal wrote: Thu May 16, 2024 12:54 pmfrom one of my favorite threads on the original forum -- the "Embarrasing Acts" thread. Here y'all go:

https://www.premierrockforum.com/viewto ... 671#p48671

-sam

And here’s Steve’s excellent fake Italian reply:

steve wrote: Salut! Brett Eugene Ralph! Bravo!

You are some kind savant for these incidenti, no? You make these mere-mortal-type embarrassment stories seem tame like Padre forgot to say his vespers or something. So cool the many gross-out story, Brett Eugene Ralph. So cool.

Si, I have made it with fattie. Si, si. Who among us has no story like this in his closetto? Si. In my youth, under some similar circumstance. I was, how you say... short straw of evening pull. I am in T-bird, and my friend -- is his T-bird. Il mio amico possiede questa automobile-macchina. If I no take the fat one, he says he take these T-bird and fuck off go home. And I am already some drunk (Che coincidiente! I am also drunk of the T-bird cheap vino forto! Che Baccala!), and is kind of what-the-fuck.

And so drunk I no care she has already made some vomit tonight. I no care, I am stupid of the cheap vino forto with, how you say... righteous wood of young man... blue steel hard-on rings like bell. Who here has no such story in his life? Who?

So, this is common story, we know it. But Brett Eugene Ralph! So better to mistake the Kentucky Back Fat for seni grandi! Bellisimo! You are the winner!

Un'applauso per Brett Eugene Ralph! Tutti l'applauso è per lui.

Someone should start a band or podcast called Kentucky Back Fat

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

I might’ve posted this up-thread, but the MS Paint Album Covers by Memory. Until people started cheating, that thread was absolutely hilarious.

“There goes a man who, by the look of things, is about to shit his pants.”

BER’s spirited defense of Bob Seger. It led me to go back and reevaluate Seger’s music. I concluded that, no, Bob Seger still sucks, but I like that BER liked it.

All of the “what would you call your ___” threads.

Sup’s relationship advice thread.

“How is the O))) pronounced in Sunn O))))?”
“It’s pronounced Ooh. Sunn Ooh.”

Betch photoshopping an aluminum guitar into a photo of a gay orgy, with the neck right where the schlong would’ve been.

There were certain posters who wrote so well or had such interesting takes or were so funny that I’d search their posts to make sure I hadn’t missed any: FM Steve, warmowski, eephus, BER, BW, Angus Jung, others I’m forgetting.

But mostly, I miss the really long, passionate, and usually hilarious arguments about jazz, Yeats, David Lynch, Steely Dan, whatever. There’s nothing like that in the Facebook page. The forum benefitted a lot by being a fairly limited community. Honestly, the only aspect I don’t miss was the quick turn to misogyny—the way threads about female musicians or writers almost immediately devolved into the artist’s fuckability.

* * *

Lately, Facebook has been deluging me with recommendations for Reels, even though I click “show me less of this” every single time. I’ve hated and resented Facebook for years, for the way that it (and other social media) cleared away all the ways we used to communicate with one another and then, once our other options disappeared, turned heinous and irritating and depressing.

I guess the old community here can’t really come back. Too many people have moved on, or grown up, or have professions that demand more discretion, or have shuffled off this mortal coil. But I do miss it. It was a virtual community of people with real-life interests and passions and ACTIVITIES.

Has anyone mentioned Pomplamoose C/NC!? This was some of the funniest shit I have ever cried to.

There was a spate of C/NC threads that came out next to each other including “Analingus,” “Dipping Fries In Mayo” and what may be my dumbest contribution to the forum (and thus the one I’m proudest of), “Taking Your Shirt Off In The Bathroom” that all produced some hilarious responses. Someone in one of the threads posted to the effect of “When Judgment Day comes down, God is not going to take so kindly to all the mayo-licking Analinguini. Put your shirt on and repent” and that still sticks out in my mind a lot.

All these memories seem to be coming back in spurts ever since I rejoined. God I missed this place.

defendyachtrock wrote: Sat May 18, 2024 3:14 pm There was a spate of C/NC threads that came out next to each other including “Analingus,” “Dipping Fries In Mayo” and what may be my dumbest contribution to the forum (and thus the one I’m proudest of), “Taking Your Shirt Off In The Bathroom” that all produced some hilarious responses. Someone in one of the threads posted to the effect of “When Judgment Day comes down, God is not going to take so kindly to all the mayo-licking Analinguini. Put your shirt on and repent” and that still sticks out in my mind a lot.

All these memories seem to be coming back in spurts ever since I rejoined. God I missed this place.

there was an Analingus vs. Eggnog Thunderdome. I forgot the context in which I suggested they make Boombats' rank title "Analingus Eggnog", but Steve or somebody went & did it.

I hate eggnog, draw your own conclusions as to how I voted

That may have been it! Also, thanks for reminding me of that Joe, now I have to stifle uncontrollable laughter in Five Guys.