I was eating Gulf of Maine oysters at a restaurant in Brattleboro VT a few weeks ago. I asked the server for crackers, and she looked at me strangely and said “What do you mean by…crackers?”

It is not uncommon to eat Gulf of Mexico oysters on a cracker, often with horseradish and/or hot sauce. Pretty standard thing in Texas and Louisiana. I was taken aback when the server looked at me like I was the “please pass the jelly” dude from that one commercial.

Those Maine oysters were fat, fresh, and buttery. Positively delicious. Still would’ve preferred them on a cracker with a dash of Crystal Hot Sauce.

Anyway…do you like oysters?

Short answer: yes

It’s more of a “once in a while” thing though. Also has to be in a place that gets them fresh and does them well (i.e., probably not Chicago). Anytime I am near the gulf coast I will get them at least once.

Love ‘em, but I’ve known a few people who got violently ill after eating bad ones in recent years. This has kinda put me off of them.

Same thing goes for Hollandaise sauce. Love it, but it made me sick as a dog 50% of the time, so I stopped eating this. (Bourdain’s book confirmed that this wasn’t just a coincidence.)

I've tried good raw ones may times but they do nothing for me. They taste exactly how you would expect them to: a little sea water with some cold, snot-like flesh. Sometimes the garnishes are good (finely chopped onion and lemon or vinegar) but would be just as good on anything else. I only eat them because I assume I'm getting some valuable omega fats or something.

Awesome if you're into them*, but for me, Crap.

*only counts for respectable stuff. Oysters Casino or whatever feet smelling versions can fuck off.

Oysters how I love them. A fresh, plain, raw oyster straight from the shell is about the closest you can be to the primordial sea from which we all emerged. East, west, those enormous French ones that taste like copper and feel a bit hesitant about eating in one go, all good. I haven't had southern oysters raw due to horror stories about vibrio, maybe someday.

I can open 'em myself pretty quickly now.

Crackers on the side, yes. Oyster on a cracker, not for me. No mignonette, cocktail, hot sauce or whatever. Just oysters. A squirt of lemon very occasionally.

Fried, steamed, soup, all good too, but not the same as raw. The baked ones with breadcrumbs and cheese are repulsive.

I once successfully choked down some Kumamotos, but any other bivalve is preferable. Steamers, mussels, etc.

Nc but always cooked.

Fiance's from South Carolina. We spent xmas down there. Never liked oysters, but I was being polite with their family friends. I think I got 2 down before I tapped out. Like hot boogers.

What's the feeling you get when the love of your life is sitting in the sun reading with a drink in their hand and they look so incredibly peaceful and comfortable that you want to sweep them up in your arms and never let them go?

I got the opposite feeling watching her suck down that slimy slippery shit.

Crap, no waffles.

As a food category not crap but I'm super picky about em, and preferably w/ mignonette or horseradish accompaniment. The super iron-ey/metallic ones I'm not a fan of. I also don't like most sea urchin.

joelb wrote: Mon Jul 28, 2025 1:34 pm I haven't had southern oysters raw due to horror stories about vibrio, maybe someday.

I’ve always adhered to the “never eat Gulf oysters when there’s no R in the month” rule and I’ve never gotten sick, but I would imagine that rule is a little antiquated now that the oceans are getting warmer.