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I won first place in a model car building contest in 1972.

French language test when I was fourteen - thirty questions regarding railway travel. One hundred per fucking cent, baby.

Ou est la gare, s'il vous plait?

At 17, I won the award for best music video in the 1984 Chicago Public Schools Video Fair.

Deborah Norville put a medal around my neck.

It was an Adrian Belew song. I did titles on my VIC-20 computer.

I should find, capture and post it some day.

-r

When I was 12, I won first place for killing a 14 point buck in a competition run by the Texas Rifle Association (I think that was the name of the organization). I remember shooting it from about 50 yards in a forrest in San Saba, TX. Dropped him instantly.

While all the other kids were dressed in bolo ties and golf shirts, I accepted the award dressed in a flamboyantly colorful Keith Haring shirt.

I'm sure my father was crying.

connor wrote:While all the other kids were dressed in bolo ties and golf shirts, I accepted the award dressed in a flamboyantly colorful Keith Haring shirt.

I can just hear one of the adults whispering to the person next to them, "Too bad that kid didn't shoot the faggot that designed that t-shirt."

Not knowing, of course.

Intern_8033 wrote:The things you are number one at are stupid!

Hey, what about the Ultimate Dicksucker?

not too many first places, but lots and lots of last places. oh i got first place in the school science fair in 3rd grade. i just went through a book and found what looked like the most difficult project. my board was garbage too, it was just red paperboard with black marker, and i even listed the procedure and tools wrong enough to where it made no sense. i don't know what happened. i think the judges were sent in on the short bus. i never bothered going to the county competition. this school also sent me to a special gifted school every wednesday. i was the only one in third grade and there was also a black kid in second and a white girl in 4th. it didn't make any sense, in later years i would be denied over and over when i'd test for gifted. i don't think i ever came in firstr place for anything ever again.

I was the #1 guy in my highschool of ~2000 smartypants suburbanite kids when it came to working the graphing calculator (which was then a new invention).

It's not just that I knew all the math crap, because there were certainly at least a handful of other kids in the school who knew the foundations better than me. But my skill was in knowing how to use the graphing capabilities to solve problems quickly, and even moreso to write programs in the retardo proprietary programming language that these TI graphing calculators used.

I was #1! They recruited me to be on the school's Math Team. They had been doing well as a team, and were about to go to state. All that was left were some regional finals.

I went to these regional finals, and I was the guy. I competed for my school, and I kicked some butt. The rest of the team did well, as well. We were going to state! By we, of course, I mean them, plus me who they had recently recruited when they found out about my skills.

I was #1!

There were some practices for the state competition, which were held late in the evening, at the school, and included free soda and pizza. Boy did they know how to get me there! I was there! We were great! And as far as being the calculator guy, I was number one!

The day of the state competition came and went. It was a Saturday, I think. I forgot to go. I never showed up. And to knock it up a notch, the other calculator guy, the alternate, ALSO didn't show up. So my school's math team went to state with nobody who knew how to kick ass with the calculator.

Maybe I was #1 in the state, at the calculator, that year. Hell, who knows. But I was definitely #1 in the school. And I was *for sure* the #1 guy when it came to calculator skills plus slacking off.

Number one!

Oddly, I never won 1st place in anything. But very, very frequently won second. I had a huge collection of red ribbons. I was very, very good at all manner of things. But never the best. Except for calculatoring. I was #1 for sure!

i am the world's worst jenga player.

i guess that makes me #1 worst jenga player right?