Matthew is gay.

In other news, my 3 1/2 gay bar excapades:

First time was at the Congress, near Vassar College. No need to guess what sort of "congress" was taking place, you might jest. Actually it was a decent joint with no overt lavatorial bumming action . I think that it was just where the cooler Vassarites went, and the cooler Vassarites happened to be gay. Ran into a guy who was preppy jock in my high school, lame back then but mad cool now that he was out of the closet. Gave me the dish on all the gay teachers, although I was afraid to ask how he found out! All in all that was an uneventful gaybar experience.


Second time was at a dance club, my friend was working the door etc. and got me n another straight dude in for free. He went to get us some drink tickets and while me n Mike were standing around, blasted by the Ooontsse Ooontsse Ooontsse house music, that's when we realized there was HARDCORE GAY PORN ON LIKE A HUNDRED FUCKING TELEVISIONS EVERYWHERE. I had no idea that they did this anywhere. I tried to imagine a "straight" bar with hetero porn on the TV and realized that regardless of orientation, men are fundamentally different than women; an irrevocable rift it seems.


Second-and-a-half time I was playing a Halloween concert at the same place, during the earlier hours of the night (they started up the dance thingy after 10PM), and after loading my gear into the van I went to take a piss.

There's a dude at the urinal. I say to myself, "no sweat, it's just a gay dude taking a piss. All dudes have to piss, so chill."

I go up for my own whizz 2 pissers down. From the side I see dudeman holding his junk. "Duh, you have to hold your junk to piss- relax."

"OK, he's shaking. Gotta shake it before you tuck it away."

"OK, he's still shaking it. He's still shaking it."

"He's not just shaking it." (exit lavatory)


Third time, I'm in San Fran (duh) and feel like I want to drink some booze. Deciding that some Old Granddad Bourbon would hit the spot, I go into a place that looks kind of biker-ish. Good punk rock is playing! Cool dark vibe, Mojo Nixon posters. Some small posters, inkline, of naked dudes on motorcycles. Two burly mofos standing by bar, holding each other ever so gently. Later I find out the joint's called The Hole In The Wall. Anyway I catch the gay vibe but I don't give a fuck, I'm confident in my sexuality and I want some liquor! Unfortunately, the bartender is outside smoking what seems like the world's slowest cigarette.
Eventually I leave without my drink: partly from impatience, but mostly because I realize I can't stand in a gay bar and say "gimme a shot of Old Granddad" without laughing my ass off.

the main gay club where i used to live played great music, better than any of the straight clubs, so my friends and i would go. i recognized a guy from my job at the bar and said "what's up simon?" to which he replied "nothing unless you got a half an hour to spare." that was my first ever attempted seduction by a homosexual. i just laughed and said, "good to see ya, simon" and let him finish his game of pool."

Boombats wrote:Later I find out the joint's called The Hole In The Wall...I realize I can't stand in a gay bar and say "gimme a shot of Old Granddad" without laughing my ass off.

First off...I know this place, and there's no effin way that you didn't know that it was a gay bar before you went inside. Secondly...that last line made me spit out my beer all over my monitor. Well done.

enframed wrote:the main gay club where i used to live played great music, better than any of the straight clubs, so my friends and i would go. i recognized a guy from my job at the bar and said "what's up simon?" to which he replied "nothing unless you got a half an hour to spare." that was my first ever attempted seduction by a homosexual.

Don't flatter yourself.

I had a gay friend in Minneapolis for a while and would always have interesting evenings out on the town with him. He was an actor/theater type and so was very social and knew everyone. Everywhere we went, there was a small crowd around us.

Gay guys are way, way more persistent and clumsy in their pickup attempts than straight guys. And they have a much harder time taking "no" for an answer. Ladies, count yourselves lucky.

Back in the day, gay clubs were some of the only places that had great bands.

They weren't like The Blue Oyster gay, as in dudes wearing leather harnesses and ball gags, but they were well past "gay friendly" with over 75% of the regular clientele being gay or bi.

When a band would play - REM, for example, played gay bars and pizza parlors when they started out - straight kids like me would go see the music. Everybody was cool, the energy was great and people jumped around like it was the best party ever.

I grew up in a liberal household, so I never had any problem with gay people in theory. The few I knew when I was young were the coolest people I knew, but after the rock show experiences I had my own, real world opinion.

My friend Chip and I would go out together. He'd be looking for boys and I'd be after girls. We were really good at helping each other out. Gay guys meet women easily and he'd introduce me. I'd introduce him to girls I knew with gay male friends and he'd get dates because he was cute.
He was good for my ego because he'd say "c'mon man, you're hot!" even though I was kinda awkward. I thought, well, his opinions matter here, so cool. It never came across as him trying to "make me gay" with his magic "gay powers."

I was a "nice guy" so it was still a struggle for me to actually score. He was the most oversexed guy I knew. I thought that was very, very Not Crap. The guy was getting what he wanted while I was still dealing with the sexual hangups of most 19 year old women.

The one time I was in a shirts off, "oomph oomph oomph" gay dance club I was uncomfortable, but it was only because I can't stand dance music. I felt like THAT was the thing I didn't have in common with the people there that was bumming me out.

-A

Ty Webb wrote:Gay guys are way, way more persistent and clumsy in their pickup attempts than straight guys. And they have a much harder time taking "no" for an answer. Ladies, count yourselves lucky.

Straight men are just as steadfast in their attempts for no-strings sex, save for the unattractive ones. And as for clumsy nothing could be further than the truth. Breeders fall all over themselves trying to be subtle in their desire to bed an attractive woman, with two gay men there are no pretenses.

H-GM wrote:

Ty Webb wrote:Gay guys are way, way more persistent and clumsy in their pickup attempts than straight guys. And they have a much harder time taking "no" for an answer. Ladies, count yourselves lucky.

Straight men are just as steadfast in their attempts for no-strings sex, save for the unattractive ones. And as for clumsy nothing could be further than the truth. Breeders fall all over themselves trying to be subtle in their desire to bed an attractive woman, with two gay men there are no pretenses.

Yes, like the old joke:
Q: What's the best gay pick up line ever?
A: "Do you want to have sex with me?"


-A

I have been to the gay bar and I am not ashamed. I have gay friends and I hang out with them. Sometimes they take me to the gay bar, which isn't all that fun if you're strait. But the drinks are usually free

Saw boredoms at the silverlake lounge which was latino transvestite bar back in the day.