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In other news, staying in a nice hotel is amazing after two weeks of Greyhound and youth hostels. Viva Jacuzzi motherfuckers !!!

Kissing a woman you've spent every day with for the last year after not seeing her for a week especially if done in the park where you spent most of your time as a kid feels like kissing the girl you fancied when you were that kid but who you would never have had a chance with or have had the balls to ask.

the intro/backbeat to Fly In The Ointment by the Faces sounds disturbingly like Didn't we deserve a look at you....

good god...

Legal fireworks these days are nowhere near as much fun as they were when I was a kid.

Every fuckin' car on The Price Is Right has an engine block heater. What the fuck? Don't they film that show in southern California????

That shit is weird man!

A public house without windows or with it's own car park should not be trusted (UK only, perhaps)

There will be one other person in the record shop and they will be standing in front of the section of the alphabet you want to look at.

If a cheeseburger is served to you wrapped in wax paper, the odds are in your favor that it will be better than average.

When the hell did Mary Steenburgen become hot?

Whenever a guy goes bald at an early age, before just about all of his friends, he almost always turns out to have a nicely shaped head.

It's wise to not sleep with your head tilted up unless you like being sore for a fucking day.