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tmidgett wrote:sometimes i really miss working in a record store

i have some good ones written down someplace. will look.

If only I had the foresight to write down the shit I heard while working at record stores over the years.

I do remember one woman plunking her purchases on the sales counter and asking "Do you take dollars?"

Must have been her first visit to Vancouver. Since our national currency is dollars, I said yes.

Of course there were the times a man or woman would ask me to select a CD appropriate for a 12 (or 8 or 15) year old child. I usually waited a few moments for them to elaborate and when the silence got uncomfortable I would ask what kind of music the kid liked (same question you would ask about an adult, no doubt). After 3 or 4 of theses customers in one day, I finally made a gesture towards the large inventory (20,000+ titles) and said, "Sorry, we don't carry anything for kids."

At another store, a regular customer would come in every week looking for the latest death metal releases. We knew this was inevitable and anticipated the day of a certain band's new CD. Sure enough he walks in and asks, "Do you have Cancer?'

"Who do I make the check out too".


"Lets talk business".

(from when i worked as an ISP bob in the mid-90s):

"Can you please not tell the cops about the kiddie porn clogging my email?"

...

Spoke wrote:(from when i worked as an ISP bob in the mid-90s):

"Can you please not tell the cops about the kiddie porn clogging my email?"

...

sure.

really?

no. i called them ten minutes ago, should be there in a minute.

I had the brother of a guy who had overdosed ask me if he had a bag on him when we brought him in to the funeral home, and could he have it back. This question was asked of me in a telephone call I took at 2:00 in the morning. The short answer was no, but the long answer was, "I am not going to bet my career and liberty on your ability to keep this arrangement to yourself." It gets better. He then asked if I could maybe just leave the back door unlocked and he would come down and sneak the shit out. I said, "Listen, you do have my condolences, but I have to end this phone call now." When the family came in to make arrangments later, this guy kept giving me little smirks like we were sharing some private joke, and I wanted to wring his neck.

that damned fly wrote:

Spoke wrote:(from when i worked as an ISP bob in the mid-90s):

"Can you please not tell the cops about the kiddie porn clogging my email?"

...

sure.

really?

no. i called them ten minutes ago, should be there in a minute.

yah, he had called cos he wasn't able to download his email and when i looked at his account the mail spool was choking on something like 90MB (alot of storage space back then) of kiddie porn and beastiality porn jpegs.

what blows my mind is he didn't even try to pretend that he wasn't expecting them.

and i totally did lock his account and forward my information to The Man.

he's probly still getting his TOS violated several times a day by a big hairy dude named "Toad".

...

iembalm wrote:

iembalm wrote:I had the brother of a guy who had overdosed ask me if he had a bag on him when we brought him in to the funeral home, and could he have it back. This question was asked of me in a telephone call I took at 2:00 in the morning. The short answer was no, but the long answer was, "I am not going to bet my career and liberty on your ability to keep this arrangement to yourself." It gets better. He then asked if I could maybe just leave the back door unlocked and he would come down and sneak the shit out. I said, "Listen, you do have my condolences, but I have to end this phone call now." When the family came in to make arrangments later, this guy kept giving me little smirks like we were sharing some private joke, and I wanted to wring his neck.

what a creep.

*drinks 11th coffee of the day*

fucking addicts.

*compulsively checks message boards*

set the scene..... Speedie is in a shop in Paris. get talking to man in line for cash register. "where are you from" I ask... "OH I'M FROM THE BIG APPLE" i reply "I'd love to see New York sometime...." reply "SO WHERE ARE YOU FROM?" "I'm from Australia." wait for it....... "YOU SPEAK ENGLISH REALLY GOOD!"




!!(hey, we were both customers!)

i work in a coffee shop. one day a nice lady asked if we had cows milk.