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soup alex wrote:I'm one of the only people I know who actually knows how to coordinate their hands in such a way as to shake those of another in a manner of greeting or farewell. Is it a dead art?

the short answer is yes, but i'm interested in this. what's the difference? how do you do it?

I just realized that when I meet a lady, when our hands are extending to 'shake', I will sort of tip my hand upwards as I shake (delicately -- but not too delicately), almost as if I was taking the lady's hand to lead her onto the floor for some ballroom dancing.

So I shake hands, but I pull out a little twist with the ladies. Weird. I'm not sure where this comes from, or if it's appropriate, but I really do try to be chivalrous to the extent that I can. And while I often fall short, I believe in manners and civility, etc.

Ladies: does this seem in some way offensive?

instant_zen wrote:the short answer is yes, but i'm interested in this. what's the difference? how do you do it?

Just as you'd expect - if I make it sound colourful, it's because those bastards are trying to convince me that it's a really weird thing that nobody does but me.

hellyes!! wrote:I have said this here before (on a similar thread a few months back) that I am fond of the handshake. A man that greets another man but ignores his lady is particularly disrespectful to me. I feel as though I am of no interest because I am just someone else's girlfriend. I am my own person and I like being treated as such. Plus, it's a polite gesture.

absolutely!! it's a sign of social maturity if anything ( although knowing that a man holds his dinlge when having a tinkle and knowing that he MAY not have washed his hands is slightly disconcerting). Sure men might be stronger, smarter etc.. but socially, we should be treated equally when greeted or introduced. i mean, some women have jobs now and everything!

by the way, it really pisses me off when a man has a really limp handshake and can't look you in the eye. so lame.

thing is, i tend to hug people at the end of a drunk night. hopefully, they'll be just as drunk and happy as me.

thing is, i tend to hug people at the end of a drunk night. hopefully, they'll be just as drunk and happy as me.

I don't think anyone could begrudge a drunk person their fairwell hug.


I don't shake anyones hand unless it's offered to me, male or female. I just didn't grow up among handshakers so it's not a natural thing for me to do. If someone doesn't offer me their hand I assume they don't want to shake hands. Same with smalltalk, if someone doesn't talk to me I assume they don't want to so I leave them in peace. This probably makes me a sociopath.

Rotten Tanx wrote:

thing is, i tend to hug people at the end of a drunk night. hopefully, they'll be just as drunk and happy as me.

I don't think anyone could begrudge a drunk person their fairwell hug.


I don't shake anyones hand unless it's offered to me, male or female. I just didn't grow up among handshakers so it's not a natural thing for me to do. If someone doesn't offer me their hand I assume they don't want to shake hands. Same with smalltalk, if someone doesn't talk to me I assume they don't want to so I leave them in peace. This probably makes me a sociopath.

...or maybe it's because you're black

[yes. feel free to throw stones.]

instant_zen wrote:

Rotten Tanx wrote:

thing is, i tend to hug people at the end of a drunk night. hopefully, they'll be just as drunk and happy as me.

I don't think anyone could begrudge a drunk person their fairwell hug.


I don't shake anyones hand unless it's offered to me, male or female. I just didn't grow up among handshakers so it's not a natural thing for me to do. If someone doesn't offer me their hand I assume they don't want to shake hands. Same with smalltalk, if someone doesn't talk to me I assume they don't want to so I leave them in peace. This probably makes me a sociopath.

...or maybe it's because you're black

[yes. feel free to throw stones.]

just kidding Rotten Tanx, i know that really you're a skinny white guy just like me.

I used to be skinny.

shake, and if they've got a sense of humour, sniff your fingers after...

yes shake it, and dont make it weak. i really hate weak hand shakes when they barely shake your hand. i guess i am a fan of firm hand shakes. hand shakes make me think people are real friendly, which is nice.