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nihil wrote:I hate wiping my ass. I absolutely hate it.

It goes on and on and on and on...

I can use a half a roll at one sitting. It's ridiculous.

There isn't a day that goes by were I don't roll my eyes every time I have to wipe my ass over and over again.

Sometimes it seems that it will never end.

But every once in a while... you take that hard, clean shit... and only have to wipe once. To me, it feels like winning the lottery.

-nate

One of these things could change your life, dude.

Seriously.

Skronk wrote:I have two Labradors, no cat. I work with a guy in his machine shop fabricating parts, but it's not a steady job. I don't think it's a good place for a cat, too many dick jokes.

I work in an auto parts warehouse, which is a pretty bad environment for people to say nothing of animals. No dogs, cats, or other friendly animals. Sometimes there is a groundhog out back, but we don't feed him.

To bring the thread back around: cats wipe their ass with their tongues. Aren't you glad you're not a cat?

nihil wrote:I hate wiping my ass. I absolutely hate it.

It goes on and on and on and on...

I can use a half a roll at one sitting. It's ridiculous.

There isn't a day that goes by were I don't roll my eyes every time I have to wipe my ass over and over again.

Sometimes it seems that it will never end.

But every once in a while... you take that hard, clean shit... and only have to wipe once. To me, it feels like winning the lottery.

-nate

This is exactly why this thread exists... We need to help Nate wipe his ass better. Please, does anyone have any suggestions to help Nate out?

Nate, we're in it for ya, buddy.

Sounds like too much meat.
Nothing worse than a meatshit.

ironyengine wrote:To bring the thread back around: cats wipe their ass with their tongues. Aren't you glad you're not a cat?

I like the way my dogs do it. They scoot around on their asses in the yard. It's like a Charlie Chaplin imitation.

Skronk wrote:I like the way my dogs do it. They scoot around on their asses in the yard. It's like a Charlie Chaplin imitation.

I have always been amused by this as well, save for the fact that they too often do it on the carpet instead of in the yard. Dogs scooting their post-bowel movement ass on your carpet = crap. Literally.

I think the solution to Tom's ass dilemma is a change of diet, but I hesitate to put the blame on meat. I consumed a great deal of meat at our office lunch this afternoon, and had one of the more pleasant movements, with minimal wiping needed, shortly thereafter.

Part of me thinks I am oversharing here, but hey! If you click a thread about poop, you deserve what you get.

ironyengine wrote:ass dilemma

For the record: would not pay to see.

Tom wrote:

nihil wrote:I hate wiping my ass. I absolutely hate it.

It goes on and on and on and on...

I can use a half a roll at one sitting. It's ridiculous.

There isn't a day that goes by were I don't roll my eyes every time I have to wipe my ass over and over again.

Sometimes it seems that it will never end.

But every once in a while... you take that hard, clean shit... and only have to wipe once. To me, it feels like winning the lottery.

-nate

This is exactly why this thread exists... We need to help Nate wipe his ass better. Please, does anyone have any suggestions to help Nate out?

Nate, we're in it for ya, buddy.

Thank you for your support.
Today I wiped my ass with a sock. Time for a new lady friend, I guess.

Skronk wrote:

ironyengine wrote:To bring the thread back around: cats wipe their ass with their tongues. Aren't you glad you're not a cat?

I like the way my dogs do it. They scoot around on their asses in the yard. It's like a Charlie Chaplin imitation.

You may be confusing what appears to be comedy with a (potentially serious) health problem.

If you've never taken your dog(s) to get their anal glands expressed, they may be trying to do it themselves. This is usually unsuccessful and they may abscess and then they're really sick.

sorry to derail the thread, just hate to think that Skronk's dogs might bust a sac. That would suck for everyone involved.

I took them to the vet for a checkup in March , but I'm not sure if their glands were looked at. Thanks for the heads up. The scooting's not frequent, but I'll be on guard now.