I was wiping my ass a couple of days ago and I realized that not only was I never formally trained on how to wipe (that I can remember), I don't think I've ever actually seen anyone wipe their ass before, in film or real life.

So, I figured if I've never seen someone else wipe their own ass, a lot of other people are probably in the same boat.

Ergo, there is no common ass wiping history. Ass wiping is potentially in a state of constant reinvention. It's an open range.

It's the Cambrian Explosion.

So, spill it. Learn from each other.
Do you...
Just Wipe?
Squat?
Put a leg up?
Squeeze a clump of TP between your cheeks?
Wet it? Keep it dry?

What works? What doesn't?

Let's work this out. Let's get this down. Let's work for a better tomorrow.
How do you wipe your ass?

Always in threes.

towards or away from the cock and balls/vag? between the leg or reach around from behind? are you more likely to get poo on your arm or hand? TP: folded neatly or crumpled?

i'm fasting and pissing out the ass daily. this takes it's toll.

man, it's not enough just to avoid the food related threads anymore.

prf, you cause me great pain at the moment.

well that is what you get for fasting

This is really more regarding pooping in general, but I was told recently (by a massage therapist) that to poop more "naturally" you need to turn over a bucket or small trash can and put your feet on it. So if you've always wondered how to poop more naturally there you go.

Kayte R. wrote:This is really more regarding pooping in general, but I was told recently (by a massage therapist) that to poop more "naturally" you need to turn over a bucket or small trash can and put your feet on it. So if you've always wondered how to poop more naturally there you go.

what about if i put my feet on the back of a midget who is on his hands and knees? does that help me poop more naturally?

ERawk wrote:Are you sure this massage therapist is not making shit up?

Making it up and out.
She knows what she is talking about sometimes.
And I cannot claim to be a pooping expert (despite doing it several thousand times) so who am I to dispute this nugget?

Kayte R. wrote:
And I cannot claim to be a pooping expert (despite doing it several thousand times) so who am I to dispute this nugget?

Thousands? Do you have a digestive problem? Someone your age shouldn't have had more than a dozen or so evacuations.

mr.arrison wrote:towards or away from the cock and balls/vag?

I believe this is pretty commonly answered as "front to back" for a variety of reasons, many health-related. This may be more applicable to women, but I think it is still pretty much the accepted method.

between the leg or reach around from behind?

Surely this is answered by the latter. I can't fathom wiping front to back with my arm between my legs.

are you more likely to get poo on your arm or hand?

Again, I believe this is obvious enough from the above answers.

TP: folded neatly or crumpled?

NOW we're on to something more like personal preference. My friend did a survey of all her friends (so, kind of biased but not entirely) of gender correlated to paper-wadding method. I believe that in her study, guys generally wadded/crumpled whereas women generally folded/rolled. I will have to revisit and verify though.

I used to be a crumpler myself, but thanks to Sheryl Crow I have been trying to reduce the amount of paper I use and started folding instead. It's served me fairly well, and the toilet seems to clog much less often.