Embarrassing Acts
252Brett Eugene Ralph wrote:Boombats wrote:Braden wrote:Brett Eugene Ralph wrote:Braden wrote:I stopped into a local bakery on my way home tonight to pick up some buns. The smell of the closing bakery was quite refreshing, so i commented as such to the young girls behind the counter. Their reply was "Oh, that's us." Of course, without due thought, the words from my mouth were "You mean y'all smell like yeast?"
I felt really bad saying that. On the upside I don't think they got it, and I walked out with a bag of buns gratis as their till was already shut down.
You mean it didn't even get a rise out of them?
No, and it really didn't knead to.
So didn't cost you any dough?
Sounds like a good deal--any way you slice it.
You saved some bread, thas nice.
Embarrassing Acts
253When I was 6 years old, I drove a golf cart approximately 200 meters off course, down a steep bank, and into what is allegedly the longest unnavigable river in the world. I then had to rescue from drowning my 3-year-old sister who went into the river with me and the golf cart.
It was a Harley Davidson golf cart.
I lost some key toys in the river, including a toy cop car.
I never learned to play the game of golf very well.
I did go on later in life to spend five summers as a lifeguard and Red Cross-certified swimming and water safety instructor.
My father can't swim, and he also has bad judgment about who should have permission to drive golf carts that don't belong to him.
It was a Harley Davidson golf cart.
I lost some key toys in the river, including a toy cop car.
I never learned to play the game of golf very well.
I did go on later in life to spend five summers as a lifeguard and Red Cross-certified swimming and water safety instructor.
My father can't swim, and he also has bad judgment about who should have permission to drive golf carts that don't belong to him.
Embarrassing Acts
254glynnisjohns wrote:Brett Eugene Ralph wrote:Boombats wrote:Braden wrote:Brett Eugene Ralph wrote:Braden wrote:I stopped into a local bakery on my way home tonight to pick up some buns. The smell of the closing bakery was quite refreshing, so i commented as such to the young girls behind the counter. Their reply was "Oh, that's us." Of course, without due thought, the words from my mouth were "You mean y'all smell like yeast?"
I felt really bad saying that. On the upside I don't think they got it, and I walked out with a bag of buns gratis as their till was already shut down.
You mean it didn't even get a rise out of them?
No, and it really didn't knead to.
So didn't cost you any dough?
Sounds like a good deal--any way you slice it.
You saved some bread, thas nice.
Yeah , but you probably ruined your chances of de-flouring them.
I'm so sorry...
arthur wrote:Don't cut it for work don't cut it to look normal, people who feel offended by your nearly-30-with-long-hair face should just fuck off.
Embarrassing Acts
256night_tools wrote:glynnisjohns wrote:Brett Eugene Ralph wrote:Boombats wrote:Braden wrote:Brett Eugene Ralph wrote:Braden wrote:I stopped into a local bakery on my way home tonight to pick up some buns. The smell of the closing bakery was quite refreshing, so i commented as such to the young girls behind the counter. Their reply was "Oh, that's us." Of course, without due thought, the words from my mouth were "You mean y'all smell like yeast?"
I felt really bad saying that. On the upside I don't think they got it, and I walked out with a bag of buns gratis as their till was already shut down.
You mean it didn't even get a rise out of them?
No, and it really didn't knead to.
So didn't cost you any dough?
Sounds like a good deal--any way you slice it.
You saved some bread, thas nice.
Yeah , but you probably ruined your chances of de-flouring them.
You mean I have no chance of getting banana muffin there?
Don't get chumpatized!
Embarrassing Acts
257When I was in like 6th grade, we went to this very rich family's party. My mom's old friend had (I think) married this very rich man, and they had a series of mansions lining this whole street block. She lived pretty modestly before, so her new lifestyle definitely took my mom by surprise.
Anyway, this party was like a child's wonderland. They had several moonwalks, an ice cream truck, face painting, a few pools, dirt bikes, endless BBQ and food, clowns, and there were many golf carts lining the property. My memory is a bit hazy on the exact items there; it was tons and tons of stuff that kids would love.
Anyway, I grab one of the golf carts and Im driving around with my friends. I wanted to look all tough riding around, but in reality, I had never really driven a golf cart before. We drove about 200 yards or so until we got near the dirtbike track. I started to get nervous, and to avoid the dirtbikes I backed up near the edge of the track, which was right next to a pond. I didnt realize how fast the golf cart when when you gunned the pedal (I was trying to go in reverse to get out of the way), and BAM! drove the thing straight into the pond! It started sinking instantly, my friends and I jumped out (getting completely wet), and I felt like I was ready to die. It was still above water a bit, so a team of guys came over and were able to pull it out. I still think it worked after that; just had to dry the thing out.
I spent the rest of the afternoon in my mom's car crying about it. Felt so embarrassed. I never heard the end of this one...
Anyway, this party was like a child's wonderland. They had several moonwalks, an ice cream truck, face painting, a few pools, dirt bikes, endless BBQ and food, clowns, and there were many golf carts lining the property. My memory is a bit hazy on the exact items there; it was tons and tons of stuff that kids would love.
Anyway, I grab one of the golf carts and Im driving around with my friends. I wanted to look all tough riding around, but in reality, I had never really driven a golf cart before. We drove about 200 yards or so until we got near the dirtbike track. I started to get nervous, and to avoid the dirtbikes I backed up near the edge of the track, which was right next to a pond. I didnt realize how fast the golf cart when when you gunned the pedal (I was trying to go in reverse to get out of the way), and BAM! drove the thing straight into the pond! It started sinking instantly, my friends and I jumped out (getting completely wet), and I felt like I was ready to die. It was still above water a bit, so a team of guys came over and were able to pull it out. I still think it worked after that; just had to dry the thing out.
I spent the rest of the afternoon in my mom's car crying about it. Felt so embarrassed. I never heard the end of this one...
Embarrassing Acts
258Not something I did but I felt REAL bad for this guy.
Went camping with some friends and a couple guys brought their dogs of course. One of these dogs is a very tiny Jack Russel but she acts like she could be a 90lb Pit when she wants. Anyway, we're hanging out and another friend shows up with his two GIANT dogs that look like they'd be docile German Shepard mix types. He pulls up and has his two huge dogs on a leash while the Jack Russel who is not leashed, begins to strut and act like the campsite is HER spot...all territorial like. So there's a few seconds of growling and such then all of a sudden it just escalates. Before anyone knows it, one of the big Shepards has the Jack Russel in its mouth and is just shaking the shit out of the little dog. We quickly got it to let go and the poor little thing runs into a tent making the "yipe yipe yipe" happy dog noise. She ended up being mostly ok, had a small scratch and some wounded pride.
As for the owner of the two huge dogs. He hung out for about an hour and then left. Nobody was pissed at him but but things were awkward to say the least. We were all a little shook up. We all played with his dogs and they were really nice...who knows?
...Oh and I shit my pants.
Went camping with some friends and a couple guys brought their dogs of course. One of these dogs is a very tiny Jack Russel but she acts like she could be a 90lb Pit when she wants. Anyway, we're hanging out and another friend shows up with his two GIANT dogs that look like they'd be docile German Shepard mix types. He pulls up and has his two huge dogs on a leash while the Jack Russel who is not leashed, begins to strut and act like the campsite is HER spot...all territorial like. So there's a few seconds of growling and such then all of a sudden it just escalates. Before anyone knows it, one of the big Shepards has the Jack Russel in its mouth and is just shaking the shit out of the little dog. We quickly got it to let go and the poor little thing runs into a tent making the "yipe yipe yipe" happy dog noise. She ended up being mostly ok, had a small scratch and some wounded pride.
As for the owner of the two huge dogs. He hung out for about an hour and then left. Nobody was pissed at him but but things were awkward to say the least. We were all a little shook up. We all played with his dogs and they were really nice...who knows?
...Oh and I shit my pants.
geiginni wrote:How about commemorative clock celebrating glorious anniversary of dead heros of great patriotic NASCAR?
Embarrassing Acts
259This is so embarassing that I've never even spoke of it before. When I was young I used to think that when a girl gave you head, it meant tht she let you only stick the tip of it in her. I always thought that head must require amazing restraint on the parts of all involved.
"he probably felt like he owed me something since he just skullfucked me with a drill"
Embarrassing Acts
260ben wrote:This is so embarassing that I've never even spoke of it before. When I was young I used to think that when a girl gave you head, it meant tht she let you only stick the tip of it in her. I always thought that head must require amazing restraint on the parts of all involved.
I used* to think that when a girl gave you a blow job, she actually blew on your dick.
* up until like a week ago