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I used to wait tables at an Italian restaurant, and was dumbfounded when asked, "Is there meat in the meat sauce"?

glynnisjohns wrote:

BadComrade wrote:
People yelling in to their cell phone "Hey buddy, can you turn the music down?" .

I actually save up all the anger i have for this one. So i can tell the jackass "no" Take it outside Danzig!

I think i have told this story before but a woman asked me if we had the
Police album in stock that had Sting singing on it.

i was, and still am baffled by this question.

Or "Led Zeppelin is that filed under L or Z?"

I know that one all too well. *looks under Z* "You don't got no Zeppelin!?"

I feel bad for people who can't speak english very well. This one hispanic dude asked me if we had "Yoni Case". I said "Yoni Case? Who is Yoni Case? I've never heard of it..." I finally realized he wanted Johnny Cash.

This one douchebag came in looking for Stevie Nicks. I showed him right where it was. We only had copies of the same, one Best Of album. I'm only security... I don't need to help customers. If I know exactly where something is, I'll show them, and if I don't, I tell them to ask up front. I said "there you go, all we have is this 'Best Of' record." I walk away and keep watching the store, like I'm supposed to. He talks with his friend for awhile and says "Hey! This is the Best of, right?" I shit you not. I say "Thats what it says, man..." and he gets super pissed at me. He complained to my manager and said the 'customer service sucks' and that he's going to boycott the store. I hate people.

Some people come up to me and talk extremely fast, mumble, etc. and I can't hear them. I'll say "I'm sorry, what was it?" or something to that effect. My second day on the job this guy comes up to me... all I hear is "lmabgbagshstrr is in Folk right?". I said "Oh, I didn't quite understand what you said." His repsonse: "Thats a shame since I speak English". Believe me, I wanted to punch this motherfucker in the face right there. He found what he was looking for, and I found a new hatred for moronic assholes who think they're better than everyone else.

One of the cashiers, her name is Megan, she said some customers "act like they want me to shove me hand up their ass and puppeteer them around. Afterwards, I feel like saying, "hey, do you want me to go home with you and cut your steak while you're eating dinner?" This is funny, but she's not exaggerating.

WoundedFoot wrote:Or "Led Zeppelin is that filed under L or Z?"

I've never ever worked in a record store and got this one from another shopper at a record store once. My mind is still blpwn3d

Working in a record shop, this middle aged woman walks up to me at the desk and says "I bought this CD last week, but there's no singing on it, and the words come up along the bottom of the screen - it's almost like you're supposed to sing them yourself".

Yup "Karaoke Country Hits".

Another time, a woman of at least 70 walked up with the new Pavarotti CD and asks "Could I possibly listen to a bit of this?". It was already on a listening post so I directed her to it, and left her alone. I swear she was on the thing for at least 5 minutes before she walked back over and says "Um I'll take it". Was only at the end of the day I realised that someone else had asked to listen to another CD before her, replaced the Pavarotti CD with it, forgetting to ake it out the player afterwards - turns out, for 5 minutes she had actually been listening to a Dutch hardcore techno CD which kicks in with a lone voice proclaiming "I FUCKED YOUR SISTER" before decending into sonic bedlam.

WoundedFoot wrote:I feel bad for people who can't speak english very well. This one hispanic dude asked me if we had "Yoni Case". I said "Yoni Case? Who is Yoni Case? I've never heard of it..." I finally realized he wanted Johnny Cash.

That reminds me of when I worked at Boots (large pharmacy chain).
I spent several minutes looking for 'diaries' (which we did sell), for a customer who wanted 'Diareze' - Boots' own brand of loperamide.
On another day I got very confused looking for a drug called 'Tri-Phos' which I was informed was being kept for a customer in the 'fridge upstairs in the stockroom. I figured since it was refrigerated it must be some sort of expensive injection. After several trips up and down the stairs, it became clear that the woman was in fact asking for 'trifles'. Six Boots Shapers strawberry trifles that we had set aside for her husband.
That's now my mum's favourite story ever, by the way....

I worked in a department store when in high school. I sold luggage. Once a lady came in to buy a bunch of luggage because her and her hubby were traveling to her daughter's wedding.

Where's she getting hitched? I asked.

In the country. She's having a Faulkner wedding, she said.

She went on an on about her daughter's idyllic Faulkner wedding. She never said 'wedding', always Faulkner wedding. She had this dreamy look in her eyes whenever she said Faulkner wedding.

I had actually read Faulkner, but I didn't have the nerve to ask her if they were going to spend the wedding dancing barefoot in a dry creek bed, lynching black folk, or sticking corncobs in each others asses.

Faulkner weddings have to be crap, but I still want to get an invite.

Well, are you?

burun wrote:When I was a tech support person for a fairly large university, I often got phone calls from Windows users asking headscratchers like these:

"I pressed the HELP key a half hour ago and nobody has come up here to help me."

"The screen says 'press any key to continue' but I can't find the ANY key."

Similarly, I had three students in a week asking which was the SHIFT key on the computer. These are Post-Graduate students who want to make and edit their own films and such.

Also:

Working in a clothing shop and having an French lady, perhaps in her sixties, approach me ask if we sell thongs...for men....she wants to buy one for her husband.

Ew.

Back when floppy disks were floppy, there was a transition to smaller, non-floppy, floppy disks in hard cases.

At our university computer lab a user is sitting at one of the machines with a smaller newer floppy drive. Said user can't figure out how to get their older, larger, actually floppy, disk into the drive. User takes floppy disk, breaks open the soft envelope-like case, pulls out the inner disk, folds it into quarters, shoves it into the computer's drive slot...and actually expects it to work.

"Do you know what ALLLLLL those THINGS do?" (Points at mixing desk).........

I just sigh now, I don't reply.