Normally I wouldn't post anything personal like this, but there have been past, more serious depression threads that got me thinking: what is really the best way to deal with certain forms of depression/anxiety? I've had suggestions, like getting therapy or being put on medication, but is that really the answer to everything? It sucks mainly because it is seriously affecting my relationship-the ups and downs.

I've never really been affected by it too much physically, besides not having much of an appetite at times, but it comes and goes. The only problem is, the lows are really low when they do come around in times of stress and all that. It certainly doesn't help that it's genetic (Mom is bipolar, Dad takes Zoloft).

I suppose it could also just be a mid-twenties existential rut that I keep digging for myself.

Any advice/suggestions would be much appreciated.

-mw

I'd start by trying to figure out any roots for depression / anxiety so that you can try to see if the problem stems from your personal situation, or if perhaps you might have a slight chemical imbalance.

Therapy seems to be a very American sort of thing - we don't do that much over here.

But yeah, like I was saying, try to seek the cause so that you can igure out the most suitable solution.

Don't be afraid to try various anti-depressents. If your brain isn't producing the right enzymes, no amount of personal self-reflection or therapy is going to help. And if the first one you try doesn't work to your liking, don't be afraid to try another. Lexapro is different than Zoloft is different than Prozac.

My last girlfriend was clinically depressed and when she was on antidepressents, we fought a LOT less about really stupid shit and it was much easier for her to accomplish things and get along with people (including me).

And, ya know, maybe anti-depressants aren't the answer for you. That may be as well. But please, don't dismiss them just because "oh my god, if i have to take a pill it means there's really something wrong with me." The stigma attached to mental illness in this country drives me up a wall. Your brain is an organ, right? If another organ in your body were broken and a drug would fix it, you'd take it, right?

So yeah, just don't be afraid to try anything. if it doesn't work it's not the end of the world. Something else will. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

i know what you mean for sure. who doesn't i suppose?

alas, my solutions are all simple things like getting lots of fresh air and exercise, improving your sleep patterns, eating and drinking sensibly and keeping yourself busy. i'd say the key word here is 'productive'. it's crucial that you are using your time productively. i don't mean just at the day-job, i mean literally all of your time. i usually avoid the blues by being too busy or tired to even consider it. i associate my own depression with having too much time on my hands.

also, consider the company you keep. try to spend more time with people you admire or have fond memories of. when i'm pissed at something i usually sit with my cat for a while and the stress literally melts away.
seriously though, this is all just stuff that works for me. i am not saying any of these things would work for the next person.

DrAwkward wrote:My last girlfriend was clinically depressed and when she was on antidepressents, we fought a LOT less about really stupid shit and it was much easier for her to accomplish things and get along with people (including me).

Ditto.

What you describe sounds like depression, not anxiety. It could also be pibolar disorder if that runs in the family - do you have crazy highs too, or just crazy lows?

You have to talk to a doctor about it. It's the only way to find out if there's something more serious than mood swings going on. Even if you decide not to get medicated you should know what a doctor has to say.

I've been medicated (paxil/xanax) for severe anxiety/panic disorder for 6 years now, and I am a totally different person. Everything in my life is better, I can't tell you how glad I am that I did it. This is a little different than bipolar disorder, and unfortunately I haven't heard many people medicated for that who are really happy with the result. They tend to want to hang on to those really high highs, regardless of the risk of the low-down lows. But so many people that I've talked to who are treated for depression are benefitting from their medication. Just give it a try - you have to try right?

Hang in there mattw, and I'm sure a hang in there to mattw's girlfriend is probably even more in order.

Before you try therapy or medications, cut back on the booze (if you're a drinker), eat as healthfully as you can, and exercise frequently. And I mean exercise hard.

tommydski wrote:...keeping yourself busy. i'd say the key word here is 'productive'. it's crucial that you are using your time productively. i don't mean just at the day-job, i mean literally all of your time. i usually avoid the blues by being too busy or tired to even consider it. i associate my own depression with having too much time on my hands.

Good point. I find this too. I also get anxiety and feel like I am going mad if I think too much on my own. I think my brain runs too fast!

Avoid drugs and over-drinking (like having more than six pints or whatever). I get very miserable when I have hangovers now, and even started to get the fear sometimes. Weird.

I am on Prozac. It has helped quite a bit. More in the past than now, but life... She has her ups and downs, si? Maybe for me, I need a bit more depression to stay unsatisfied and more willing to chase the carrot? Maybe I should just switch meds.

Look, the way I see it, it's really easy to 'catch' depression these days. The Germans have a wonderful word for what I'm getting at: Weltschmerz--the feeling of sorrow when you realize the difference between how things actually are and how things ought to be. Plato'd probably say it comes down to what people think they deserve, i.e., I'm a decent enough person, why do I get screwed so much? And he's probably right about that.

This is a long-winded way of getting to the question of whether modern life is conducive to the human soul. It may not be. I suspect the percentage of depression in the Dark Ages was significantly less than it is now. People, then were too busy worrying about dodging plague and getting something to eat. Now, with the promise of comfortable shoes, air conditioning, and the desire to live the perfect lives you see in movies... All this fancy learning and enlightenment values we have to live up to. The self-reflection and inwardness may not be good for everyone. Or alternately, maybe it's that all the comforts of a bourgeois life, the getting up everyday, punching in, running numbers on a computer, punching out, and going home to watch the same formulaic sitcoms, just don't fulfill the human soul. What's to talk about? It may not be what we need. These are extreme cases, but I'm drawing the contrast heavy to explain where I'm coming from.

That's just some thoughts I imagine you'll have, or learn to articulate for yourself as you think about these things. Don't be afraid to try some meds. You can look at them as a crutch all day, but if they get the job done, keep you from flunking out, losing your love, your job, or going into some weird debt spiral, then these means justify the ends. Of course, it may not be any where near that bad. They may be just what you needed to boost you out of a rut to get you going. Maybe it's seasonal for you. I can say from experience, the more you stay busy and the more things you accomplish, the easier it is to have energy and take care of business. It keeps you from the curse of self-awareness. Staying in bed and watching ER until 11am isn't the answer.

rachael wrote:What you describe sounds like depression, not anxiety. It could also be pibolar disorder if that runs in the family - do you have crazy highs too, or just crazy lows?

I haven't heard many people medicated for that who are really happy with the result. They tend to want to hang on to those really high highs, regardless of the risk of the low-down lows. But so many people that I've talked to who are treated for depression are benefitting from their medication. Just give it a try - you have to try right?

While i agree with all of this, i just want to add/clarify that worrying about losing "the highs" is something i've heard from people who most likely are clinically depressed but aren't bipolar, and it needs to be stressed that if you're NOT bipolar, and you just have the lows, that antidepressents don't eliminate any normal good moods or happiness. My then-girlfriend had just as many great moods while on zoloft/lexapro as she did off it--it's just that she didn't have the crushing lows anymore. But she wasn't bipolar, so that's the difference.

I've just heard the "all antidepressants will eliminate all my highs" thing from people who aren't even manic enough times that it's frustrating to see people not go on medication due to misinformation.

tommydski wrote:alas, my solutions are all simple things like getting lots of fresh air and exercise, improving your sleep patterns, eating and drinking sensibly and keeping yourself busy. i'd say the key word here is 'productive'. it's crucial that you are using your time productively. i don't mean just at the day-job, i mean literally all of your time. i usually avoid the blues by being too busy or tired to even consider it. i associate my own depression with having too much time on my hands.

Listen to this sage advice.
It is easy to dismiss things like eating well and exercise because they seem like small efforts that would do little to impact something that has the size and weight of depression. But they are powerful things when it comes to brain chemistry.

It can be difficult to implement them because it is difficult to take care of yourself when you feel like shit about yourself. Also, when you're down, it is easy to justify indulgences--they feel earned. But those indulgences can really bite you in the ass. Especially when it's food and drink and lazing around.

It is hard to reach out to your people when you are down--you feel as if you have nothing to offer and will be a big drag. Most every human being I know is deeply satisfied by taking care of their friends, so shun this myth.

At a minimum mattw, commit to doing one active thing a day. Be open to seeing a doctor. And listening to some funky soul music never hurts.

Take good care.
-Bef.