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What would you have Steve say on your answering machine?


C'mon people, bid!

...something warm and punchy I guess.

"you've called <phone number>. leave the massege after the beep"

I would have him rap the following:

Glamorous
Indie rock'n'roll is what I need
It's in my soul, it's what I need
Indie rock'n'roll, it's time
Two of us
Flipping through a thrift store magazine
She plays the drums, I'm on tambourine
Bet your, your bottom dollar on me

It's Indie rock'n'roll for me
It's Indie rock'n'roll for me
It's all I need
It's Indie rock'n'roll for me

I take my twist with a shout
A coffee shop with a cause, then I'll freak you out
No sex, no drugs, no life, no love
When it comes to today

Stay if you wanna love me, stay
Oh don't be shy, let's cause a scene
Like lovers do on silver screens
Let's make it yeah, we'll cause a scene

It's Indie rock'n'roll for me
It's Indie rock'n'roll for me
It's all I need
It's Indie rock'n'roll for me

In a clutch
I'm talking every word for all the boys
It's Indie rock'n'roll for me
It's all I need
Makin' up, breakin' up, what do you care
What do you care?
It's Indie rock'n'roll for me

Two of us
Flipping through a thrift store magazine
It's Indie rock'n'roll for me
It's all I need
Makin' up, breakin' up, what do you care
What do you care?
It's Indie rock'n'roll for me

Hi this is the famous Steve Albini. You've called [insert of person/people who won the auction] number and he/she/they are not available right now, but if you leave your name and number they'll get right back to you. Cheerio.

*excellently recorded drums*

*beeeeeep*

"A proper English breakfast with good sausages, etc. is a thing of beauty. My perfect breakfast is: grilled tomatoes, poached eggs (fried acceptable), brown toast with butter and Marmite, black pudding (white pudding optional as an addition), potatoes, sausage and bacon, with HP sauce drizzled on the whole lot. This can be ruined by the addition of any of the following: Fried bread, canned beans, spaghetti-Os or canned mushrooms. Done right, with a nice big mug of tea, it's the business. Not Crap.

Leave a message."

"Hello. Ultimate Dicksucker is not home to take your call right now.........."

all of you need to think this shit out...



"HI this is Steve Albini, and you can consider this message a verbal legel and binding contract that I will record Mr Yale Delays band Ifihadahifi, at my studio electrical audio for as long and as many times as they need it for the sum of $1.00 total"

I of course may have to take Steve to court but I bet the records will sound great with all of the time in the studio we will be able use...

"Hello, I'm Steve Albini in a bear suit, and I use this answering maching on literally every session."


Ben Adrian