Most embarassing sex songs-lyrics ever

1
I have a feeling the EA forum could go to town on this. Hope I don't get Kerbled, though. (Isn't it funny how kerble has turned into an adjective?)

I will put up for consideration:

Iron Maiden - Charlotte the Harlot (wouldn't you love to hear Napalm Death cover this?)
Elton John - Island Girl (technically about a prostitute, but too clueless not to be here)
Deep Purple - River Deep, Mountain High (simply indescribable - listen to the Tina Turner original and then listen to this...seriously, ten minutes?)
Kiss - Lick It Up (No, thank you)
Tom Jones - Sex Bomb (Sadly, not a Flipper cover...oh so sadly, not a Flipper cover)
Ricky Martin - She Bangs (it had to be here)
Rod Stewart - Do Ya Think I'm Sexy (sure, if I thought $2-a-blow blonde prostitutes wer...oh, wait a minute)

I know there are literally tons that I'm missing here...let's hear some from you guys.[/i]
Life...life...I know it's got its ups and downs.

Groucho Marx wrote:Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.

Most embarassing sex songs-lyrics ever

3
Kiss - Christine Sixteen
A song about lusting after a 16 year old.

"I don't usually say things like this to girls your age, but when I saw you
Coming out of the school that day, that day I knew, I knew, I've got to have
You, I've got to have you."

Yikes.


Also Kiss - C'mon and Love Me (It's just embarassing.)

"She's a dancer, a romancer
I'm a Capricorn and she's a Cancer"

Basically any Kiss song can work.

Most embarassing sex songs-lyrics ever

6
gjhardwick wrote:Domestic Violence by Bobby Digital


A fine choice, but I think "Love Jones" from the same album might do better:

Yo girl you shinin like a brand new spankin black glock
or a thousand hundred dollar bills inside a shoebox
Exotic bird, special blend of selected fine herbs
make me wanna kick my bitch to the curb
Shaped like a naked statue, but look sacred
Candy to a baby y'know, I'm ready to take it
She spread your wings like a peacock
Girl you be the bomb, and Bobby be shellshocked!
Behold as I shape and mold your formless globe
into a perfect O, and breathe the breath of life into your nose
With the fragrance of a fresh pink rose
and stroll into your eyes, the windows to your soul
And choose the best part, the dark pupil I chose
Your heart was mutual, into the center I dove
Backstroke in your abyss like a fish
Countin every thought and dream and wish, that exists within six
She was filled with pleasures, of all measures
But never took the time to discover, her own sunken treasure
Unlock the jewelry box, knowledge rose to the top
The distilled back in the fine mists, that gave birth to the crops
and seas, that brought us together, for the better
We could never seperate so maintain your stormy weather
So maintain the stormy weather
Word up, and let's walk these dogs together Boo
Why do you make it so scary to post here.

Most embarassing sex songs-lyrics ever

7
Nothing, NOTHING can top the song "Sex Mission," by Oshkosh, Wisconsin's own Iranian-American metal god, Al Eide.

There's this chick that usually walks by every morning
She looks so, so sexy.
She usually stops over.
I've been waitin' all morning for her.

I'm feeling kinda hot; kinda bothered.
I've got this inner craving.

Sometimes a little of her action lasts all night long.
I like to rock the boat, they say.
I got encountered by this beautiful creation.
She has long legs; a real beautiful sexy tan.
She had a really short miniskirt on.
She bent over right in front of my face.

She said it's your turn.
I asked if she (?????)
She said, "my my my."
She looks so impressive.
She asked me if I wanted head.
She told me I had the best tasting candy cane around.
We decided to spend the day in bed.

Sex all day long.
She said it feels great
She said she likes being on top
She told me she likes to be sexed all day long.
She said usually most of the time.
Is that what it's coming to?

You know when we're together
there's a really powerful sexual reaction.
You know, it's like it gets so messy
but it's so, so sweet.

I'm always horny.
I love the way she moves
on top of me.
She's the sexiest babe I've ever seen, you know.
She always turns me on.

She's hot.
Real hot.
Always comes back.
She likes it on top.
All day long.
69 most of the time.
She's prime.


I feel kinda hot; kinda bothered.
I've got this inner craving.
It really needs to be for film.
I'm always horny.
I can never get enough.
You know, sex is all that's on my mind.
Beautiful babes.
Those sexy tight outfits, you know.
Long legs; nice curves---
Oh god! I could never get enough.


Just listening to that song in order to transcribe the lyrics was enough to make me never want to have sex again. It can be heard on the Myspace page that I linked to up at the top, if you are brave.
"To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost."

-Gustave Flaubert

Most embarassing sex songs-lyrics ever

10
Ladies and gentlemen I present to you a portion of "Slide It In" by Whitesnake

David Coverdale wrote:You talk too much,
Always treating me so unkind,
I know what I've got to do,
To get me some peace of mind

I'm gonna slide it in,
Right to the top,
Slide it in,
I ain't never gonna stop
Slide it in,
Right to the top,
I'm gonna slide it in, slide it in,
Slide it in,
Right to the top
Slide it in,
I ain't never gonna stop
Slide it in,
Right to the top,
I'm gonna slide it in, slide it in, slide it,
Slide it in, slide it in,
Right to the top, baby...



I think it is the repetition that really drives his motives home. You get the feeling it is almost a necessity for him to slide it in, with a great deal of urgency no less. You're welcome.

Jon

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest