Ladies and gentlemen - friends - of the PRF,

please to give the recognise to my firstborn and only son, George Rowan Heeley, born yesterday at 1.38am (twenty-two to two on the twenty second), which as I've just discovered is also the day of the Albini birth! Which is good luck. He weigh 7lb 9oz.

So, that was an experience and no mistake. The good lady Catherine rolling around on one of those 'birthing balls', of which I had no previous knowledge, being somewhat surprised when a large blue egg was brought into the room, as I had thought all the time that the baby was in her tummy. Catherine got really high on the gas-and-air, and alternated between lolling around like a trumpet-playing rockstar whilst droning like a tibetan monk, and - in the ever decreasing gaps between contractions, pissing herself laughing and merrily insulting the midwife...

Midwife: "These contractions are definitely getting stronger and more regular"
Catherine, looking at me: "Who's she, the frigging comedy act?"

When she finally stopped rolling around on the Janis Joplin egg, she got up on the bed, and her waters went, which was honestly like as though someone threw a water bomb at the midwife, it was that explosive. Not long after that, while the midwife had her back turned to us and was doing something at the sink, the head appeared. None of us expected him to come out so quickly and easily, but there he was, slipping out like a fish into the world. The umbilical cord was round his neck so his head was all purple til that was cut, but that couple of minutes were, honestly, the most powerful couple of minutes of my life. Catherine's face when she finally got to hold him up and look at him and say, "baby, you're here!" just sent me over the edge.

He's awesome. Apart from the first few moments after being born, he didn't cry at all yesterday. His eyes focus on you which I wasn't expecting from an hours-old baby. Catherine thinks he looks like my mother; my mother thinks he looks like me; I think he looks like Catherine. I just can't believe that we've made this beautiful new human being, who we get to hang out with now all the time.

Last night I slept the best sleep I have slept in a long time. Today I'm going to get them and bring them home.

I am happy man.

Pictures to follow this afternoon. I was going to wait til I had them but I'm afraid I can't.

congrats Sir!

Congratulations, John!

Congratulations! Though i'm disappointed you didn't call your son Gareth

salut!

"Hey dad, can I have the car keys?"

Congrats!

Salut!

"George Rowan Heeley" is very good name, by the way.

He'll go far with a name like that.

Much congratulations John!

I'm so happy for you. Another new chapter?

Take care and look after your new family!

All the best

Dale

Incredible news, John.

Salut!

Super, super news! Congratulations!

My horrific offspring have made a welcome sign in George's honour, although you'll need to squint to make it out. Their dad is a terrible photographer...

Bring-on the baby pics!