Angry_Dragon wrote:
p.s. In order to be able to vote in this election, you must be able to name at least one musician from The Beatles. I figure that this will weed out anyone who shouldn't have the right to vote.

Hi,

As I prepare to begin my training towards a career in lifecoaching, I haven't been left much time to work on all the projects I have going on, so I'm going to be bringing on a new intern. This intern would be working directly under me, carrying out whatever tasks I request to move along these projects.

To get an idea of the kind of work you'd be doing, I'll give some example projects. I can't say too much because someone will steal my ideas. The first project is a coffee table book called "Pitas." Each page of the book would feature a piece of pita bread with a face drawn on it as to represent the likeness of the "Peter"s of popular culture. Below the picture would be their name, only with "Peter" replaced by the word "Pita." Pita Fonda, Pita Jennings, Pita Paul and Mary, Pita Pita Pumpkin Ita, etc. Well I guess I gave pretty much all of that one away. Anyway, your job would be to make the Pitas and take the photos and find out how you get a book published and then do that. Pretty much I would be the idea guy and you would carry it out. Another book I want to do would be "The Great Chicago Garbage Strike of 2003" and for that you would drive around and take pictures of all the kind of full garbage cans and then interview people about the inconvenience they experienced due to the garbage strike. This would need to happen ASAP. If the garbage is picked up by the time you start, you may need to stack some dumpsters so they are kind of full of garbage again. Then there are about three or four webpages I want made, only one of which would be for my life coaching business. So that's basically it.

This is a job for someone who wants to do something great and important but can't think of anything cool and wants someone to tell them. The ideal candidate would possess the following qualities:

-Good organizational skills. Reliable and comfortable with responsibility.
-Does not question what they are asked to do
-Must be able to take both professional and personal criticism
-Must have gotten at least a 1200 on the SATs, but not above 1490 because that's what I got
-Web Page development experience is a plus

While this internship isn't related to Electrical Audio, there is just as much to be learned, more maybe. If you want the perks of an EA internship, I can offer those as well. You can, for example:

-Go to the store and buy me Coke (not Pepsi) and milk for my precious coffee.
-Make me coffee and then listen to me complain about how I wanted maple syrup / there's too much maple syrup
-Wash my fucking dishes
-Watch me order lunch and then when it comes have me say to you "Oh, I forgot to ask if you wanted anything, sorry."
-Ask me what it was like to ask Steve Albini what it was like to meet Kurt Cobain
-Receive blowjobs from Electrical's newest intern, Ryan Schwarz (confirmation pending)

This internship will count for either college or high school credit so you might as well do it, it will be a blast and you'll get to do something that you can really be proud of. If you're interested, fax your resume to Electrical at 773.539.4495 or e-mail me at andrew@pandamouth.org

unarmedman wrote:do i know you? or is there some other reason in particular you've decided to dislike me?

b/c i don't think we've even had a direct exchange on this board until now.

if so it wasn't worth remembering.

Angry_Dragon wrote:Just a few categories.
Best poster
Best one liner
Best General Discussion Topic
Best Intern's Corner Topic
Best Tech Room Topic
Best Crap/NOT CRAP Poll Topic

unarmedman wrote:
do i know you? or is there some other reason in particular you've decided to dislike me?

b/c i don't think we've even had a direct exchange on this board until now.

if so it wasn't worth remembering.

It was an election joke, nothing more.