I wanna play that grand theft auto so bad but I'm not touching that fucking controller, he's got the new one out there

I walked in on a member of the night cleaning crew working one out. He thought that the door to the bathroom was locked and was on the john, buck naked, back arched, shooting for the ceiling.

He jumped up, yelled something in Chinese and put his bundled clothing on his crotch.

Thankfully, we have a language barrier so we didn't have to deal with it right away. I didn't say anything to anyone but he doesn't know that. Whenever we pass in the hall he lowers his gaze.

I wish there was some way of letting him know that I bear no ill will and that I didn't nark on him. Maybe I can make a drawing and put it on his cleaning equipment...

Skronk wrote:Masturbating at work, pretty much crap. It's hardly the atmosphere to rub one out, but doing it while you're on the clock, a definite not crap.

I knew you were the one crap vote, you fucking pussy.

Do doubt he was inspired by this moment.

steve wrote:Sounds like this dude has it all figured out.

+1

I've certainly done it. Although, I have an unfair advantage these days as I work form the home.

I have a friend, another ex-chemistry student, who got very bored during one practical where you had to spend a long time in a dark room waiting for some such chemistry stuff to develop. He got so bored that he cracked one off, which I found quite funny because that room stunk of solvents and was frequented by mainly unattractive people (other chemistry students). I never have got round to asking him where he left his deposit. This was not crap.

All I can say is, if you do choose to punch it on the clock, be very careful.

my boss (and ex-drummer) rubs one out at work just about every day. I know this cause he informs us of these feats of masturbatory greatness. He could go pro, without too much effort I feel. crap cause I gotta hear about it, not crap if you spooge on the wall and get paid for it.

i have done but don't think i will again because getting caught would be a bad thing. the resulting disciplinary would be amusing in transcript but not at the time, methinks.

the catering manageress at our base has just been removed from site coz she fucked a load of soldiers. guess that's consistent with army morality generally. they fire into you but you're to blame.

there i go again breaking The Official Secrets Act.

sparky wrote:I have a friend, another ex-chemistry student, who got very bored during one practical where you had to spend a long time in a dark room waiting for some such chemistry stuff to develop. He got so bored that he cracked one off, which I found quite funny because that room stunk of solvents and was frequented by mainly unattractive people (other chemistry students). I never have got round to asking him where he left his deposit. This was not crap.