Rick Reuben wrote:Mark Hansen wrote:You're right, I went back and deleted that sentence, as that was not the one I was commenting on anyway. My comment was regarding the next statement , which you did make, staarting out "There you go..."
Yeah, but it's still fucked up in your new post. Here's the sequence:
Johnny 13 wrote:I would not want to be in a life long relationship with someone who would be that unstable.
rick reuben wrote:There you go. If your wife aborted without consulting you, you would want out of the relationship. That means you would punish her for doing what she did, thus proving that you felt entitled to the consultation
I'm pointing out to Johnny that he feels deserving of a consultation on the question of abortion.
And Johnny keeps saying that in a healthy relationship, the partners have a pretty good idea what they would do in advance, having spoken about it before, and would likely discuss at the time what they would do. In an unhealthy relationship, where this dialogue is broken, there are many more things wrong with the relationship that haven't been recognized or dealt with, for whatever reason, before the woman decides to get an abortion without talking to her partner about it. It may precipitate the end of a relationship, but I think it is not necessarily the underlying cause for why it ends.
In any case, I think equating divorce with punishment is being very simplistic about the dynamics in such a situation. I've been through a divorce myself, and if that is someone's point of view regarding divorce, well, that just makes it more painful than it already is, and is kind of an unhealthy viewpoint in it's own right, to all parties involved. The kind of people who divorce out of spite, or the desire to punish, are the same people who drag everyone else around them into the situation, like when divorcing couples expect their existing children, or friends for that matter, to pick sides in a divorce, demonizing one or the other spouse. This is not healthy, and does not let one heal from the separation.
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